Page 54 of Classroom Confessions

“All set.” Her perky tone did nothing to mask her fear. “What’s going on?”

“We’re figuring out how you stay in school without getting in trouble and without us losing our jobs.” I dared Ethan or David to contradict me. “You’re not giving up your goals or your degree, not when you have us.”

“Oh.” She wedged herself into the space between us. We had the whole room, but we kept coming together like this, like we couldn’t stand to be more than a foot apart. “I guess that’s easy. I’ll transfer to different classes.”

26

REBECCA

Three days later, I still kept thinking I’d wake up and find this all was a dream. I stepped into the campus library and strode over to where Lily sat with her books spread out across the table. She looked up at my approach, her tapping pen stilling on the blank page. “What’s wrong?”

Tears threatened. I stuffed them back and sank into the chair across from her. “I might have to leave.”

“Are you sick?” She scooped the books into a lopsided pile. “Is it something you ate?”

“No exactly.” I traced the line of stripes on my shirt, a line that stretched across my stomach. One breath. Two. “I’m pregnant, Lily.”

Lily blinked and her mouth popped in an O of surprise. We stared at each other, and I searched her face for any hint of judgment.

Would I ever come to terms with being pregnant? I’d meant it when I offered to leave college or transfer classes. That made the most sense, but honestly, how was I supposed to keep up my work with a newborn? If I left school now, I might be able to get a few more books written before I gave birth. Then I could upload them a chapter each week until I ran out of material. I’d thought it over since Cole made me promise not to make any decisions until we knew more. What else was there to know? I was pregnant. I had no idea whether Cole or David was the father. Dad and Carrie were going to go batshit crazy with the news, and that was before I even told them about my relationship with my professors.

I was in shit neck-deep with no hope of finding my way out.

“Rebecca.” Lily snapped her fingers in my face.

I jerked my thoughts back to the library and my best friend.

She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Do you want to tell me whose it is?”

Words locked in my throat. I shook my head and winced at the flash of dejection she tried to hide when she sat back and crossed her arms. One brow shot upward, and she hissed through her teeth. “Is it?—”

“Don’t.” I held up a hand to stop her. “Please don’t finish that sentence.” I took my time scanning the library. We were the only ones at the tables, but I couldn't see past the long rows of books behind Lily. Anyone on the other side of the stacks could hear, and I would not risk word of this getting out.

“Lucas?” Lily mouthed the name.

A shudder of disgust wracked my spine. “No. Thank God.”

“Yeah, that’s a relief.” She stood and picked up her books, shoving them into the messenger bag draped over the back of her chair. “I won’t ask questions, but if you need to talk, you know you can count on me.” She mimed zipping her lips shut like we used to do as kids. “I’m here if you need me.” Without warning, she darted around the chairs and threw her arms around my neck. “Anything you need. Anytime. You call me, okay?”

“Okay.” My voice wobbled despite every effort to control it. We’d been friends so long, I almost took her for granted sometimes. “Thanks, Lily.” I squeezed her tightly. “I have to go, but I’ll talk to you later.”

“You'd better. I’ll hunt you down if I have to.” Lily’s bubbly laugh gave me a chance to smile.

For the first time since finding out, I let myself consider that everything might be okay. Sure, I had a lot to consider, a lot of potential problems hovering overhead like bombs prepared to drop. But I had Ethan, Cole, Lily, and David on my side. I hoped and prayed they meant it when they said they’d stand with me. Ethan had turned cold there for a bit, but by the time I left Cole’s house, he'd hugged me with a ferocity that stole my breath.

I texted Cole before I left the library. Ever since Lucas showed up that day, I’d kept on alert every time I walked across campus, especially in the parking lot where there were too many places to hide and not enough people around to make me feel safe.

My phone pinged once I slid into the car and locked the doors. Cole’s simple text stating he’d follow me to the clinic warmed me through and through. He’d been the most attentive, the most passionate, since finding out about my pregnancy. I’d had a hard time leaving his house after my confession, but it was for the best. We all had a lot to think about.

I followed the directions on my phone, heading away from campus and into downtown traffic. My thoughts scrambled with every red light and every mile I drew closer to the OB building. By the time I wheeled into the parking lot and turned off the engine, my vision was spotty at the edges. I peeled my hands off the steering wheel, the sticky sound of skin on leather loud in the compact vehicle.

Cole knocked on my window, startling me enough that I almost screamed. Concern dug grooves between his eyes and cast a shadow across his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” Lie. What else could I say? I was in no frame of mind to reiterate my fears all over again minutes before going into my first OB visit.

“David and Ethan said they’re sorry they had to stay and work. They tried to get their classes covered.” He shrugged. “Kind of hard when there’s three of us asking for a last-minute sub.”

“It’s fine.” I’d wanted all of them with me, but now that I stared at the gray brick building with a silhouette of a mother and baby plastered on every door and a giant sign out front, I was glad to be here with Cole. His easy temperament and calm personality gave me courage to step out of the car and shoulder my bag. “We’d better get inside. They wanted me here fifteen minutes early.” I was pushing it, but didn’t I always?

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