Page 36 of Classroom Confessions

Thankfully, I could answer with total honesty. “Nothing other than that single hug. Which will not happen again.”

His mouth twisted to one side, and he rubbed his index finger over the lines in his forehead. “This is your one and only warning, Miss Roberts. Fraternizing with campus employees is strictly forbidden. Should these rumors continue or another occurrence come before me, I’ll have no choice but to pursue further action. You understand?”

Oh, I understood, all right. Standing, I nodded. “Thank you for understanding, Sir.”

He let me leave without another word. My heart threatened to burst right out of my chest all the way from his office to the parking lot where I climbed into my car. I locked the doors and leaned my forehead on the steering wheel. I couldn’t keep doing this. I could not put Ethan, Cole, and David in jeopardy of losing their jobs and becoming another statistic of professor/student relationships. I had to tell them, in person, face to face. But I didn’t have any of their phone numbers. I did know where Cole lived, though, and it was on my way.

Half an hour later, I parked in Cole’s driveway and pocketed my keys. His car sat in front of me. I second-guessed myself until the front door opened and Cole stepped out. His solemn expression gave me the strength to step out of the car and make my way up the drive.

“I need to talk to David. Ethan too.” I had to do this.

“They’re already here.” He thumbed over his shoulder and stepped back, ushering me into the house.

Convenient. Or maybe not so much, considering what I was about to say. “You all get together like this often?”

Cole shrugged and twirled a half-empty bottle of beer. “When we need a break but don’t feel like going out, yeah.”

A break. I could use a fucking break right about now. I grabbed the nearest bottle of beer, cracked the cap, and drained it. Three male bodies filled the small living room with tension and the bite of sexual attraction. The space shrank until I felt every breath, heard every exhale, and tasted my own desire with every swallow. I’d much rather climb into one of their laps and forget about this whole day. Instead of doing what I wanted, I did what was right. “I’m going to start taking online classes.”

Ethan stiffened. “Why?”

“Because I can’t keep coming to your classes. Not when I feel the way that I feel, and being in the same room with you is torture. Especially when I came here to tell you all that we can’t see each other anymore.” I tried to grin at Ethan. “Not that you and I saw each other at all.”

He gripped the bottle in his hand so tightly I expected it to break. He tossed it aside and leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs. “Why the change?”

I told them everything. It was the least I could do, and it would convince them that I meant every word. “I won’t let you jeopardize your careers. I didn’t really think it could happen. Naive, I guess.” I tossed the empty bottle into the trash and backed toward the door. “Goodbye.” The word tasted like ash and fell with the power of an earthquake.

All three men stood. Jaws working, they hesitated. That was when I knew they understood I was right.

“I don’t like it.” David glared at Ethan. “You should have been more careful.”

“It wasn’t his fault.” I didn’t dare move toward them. One wrong move and I’d never leave them. I wouldn’t have the strength to back away a second time. “We have to stop now.”

“She’s right.” Ethan’s twisted scowl pierced my heart. “It’s not just our careers. Rebecca’s reputation is on the line too. If she’s drawn into a legal battle over this, it could follow her the rest of her life.”

I hated that he was the one speaking the harshest truth. It fit what I knew about him, that he would sacrifice his own happiness for someone he cared about. It also meant he wasn’t the jackass I'd always painted him as in my novel. Maybe this was an aspect I should add to his character. He had a softer side, a caring side I’d experienced firsthand when he held me.

“I’m leaving.” I set the bottle on the side table and took one last look at the three of them. Ethan stood off to the side, his hands deep in his pockets and that same scowl twisting the side of his mouth up in a snarl.

David and Cole never broke their rigid posture. David seemed ready to speak, or to break across the room and hold me. He did neither. “This doesn’t have to be goodbye. Not forever.”

“Just until I get my degree.” I held the doorknob, letting the metal ground me and keep me focused. “Let’s be honest. We all know you’d lose interest in me, anyway. Why not end it now, while we still have good feelings for each other? It’ll take four years to get my bachelor’s degree. You won’t wait that long.” I wasn’t worth the time.

“Stop selling yourself short,” Cole snapped. The words shot through the room. “You don’t know what we’re capable of. I think you’re afraid to find out.”

“Maybe you’re right. I’d love to stay and find out, but we all know it’s over.” I wrenched open the door and sucked in gulps of air saturated with asphalt and palm trees. They were intoxicating, their presence almost too much for me to bear. I forced my feet to move, breath held in hopes they’d call me back.

We’d made it through the first threat of scandal. Putting them through a possible second one was unconscionable.

Lily texted me after I made it home. I couldn’t tell her what happened. I had no desire to talk about it at all. I wanted sleep and the blissful oblivion of forgetting for a few hours that I’d lost the best things in my life.

With online classes staring me down the next day, I went into work early to keep busy. The extra hours wouldn’t hurt, and Lily would be grateful for the reprieve from our coworkers still attempting to set her up on blind dates. She’d managed to get out of the date with Robert, saving me from having to save her. But they kept trying to fix her up with random people who came in throughout the day.

Lily took one look at me and shoved a latte into my hands. “I’ll keep them coming.”

“You’re a good friend.” I set up my computer and typed out a few paragraphs before I completely lost motivation for everything, including my story that was still doing remarkably well for only having two chapters posted.

The day passed in a slog of lectures, taking care of customers, and trying to catch up on all the work I’d fallen behind on while mooning over my professors. What a way to start my college experience.

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