Page 13 of Classroom Confessions

He stood inches away from me, boldness in his eyes and a hint of a smile playing around his lips.

Did I dare tell him my hopes and dreams? Would he laugh in my face? I scoured his expression for any hint of malice and found curiosity as he stared back. “I want to be a romance author.”

“I figured as much. I’m sorry my graphs upset you. It wasn’t my intention to make writing seem like a fruitless career. It can be quite lucrative. My intention was to light a fire under your asses and make you want to succeed despite the potential challenges. I can see where I went wrong with today’s presentation. I’ll work on correcting that.”

“Seriously?” I gaped. Like seriously, jaw unhinged, fish out of water, gaped.

He ducked his head so we stood eye to eye. “Seriously. What you want out of life is important. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.”

A moment of charged energy passed between us. One move and I could kiss him. Just a slight shift in weight and he could kiss me. I’d let him, I realized with a split second of panic. Despite last night and all the potentially terrifying ramifications, if Cole made a move, I wouldn’t stop him. Fuck that, I’d be willing to make the first move if I weren’t so worried about him losing his job. “Thank you.”

I felt a tug on my hair and looked down. Cole had a strand of my loose curls wrapped around his finger. He stroked his thumb over the bit of hair, his eyes turning molten. “Romance is one of the most important aspects of our lives. People underestimate its uses. Don’t let that slow you down. You’re passionate and dedicated.” Another tug on my hair, and he released the strand with a shake of his head.

I walked from the office in a dazed state that even seeing David didn’t dispel. It wasn’t until later that night, home with Fitz and spending time with Lily after our shift, that it all sank in. I had the hots for three of my professors, had slept with one, and the other two gave all the signs of being into me.

I couldn’t keep going to classes with them distracting me and making me burst out with random arguments. I had to do something to distract myself.

Lily threw a popcorn kernel at me. It hit me in the forehead, bounced, and landed on Fitz’s head. He snapped his head, trying to catch the kernel, then followed it under the couch.

“Fitz.” I snapped my fingers for him to come to me, and he bounded over, jumping onto my lap. “Do you want to show Lily your new trick?”

“Oh, Lord. What have you taught him now?” She acted like she didn’t care, but the spark in her eyes said differently, especially when she set the bowl of popcorn aside and paused the replay of Cole’s lecture we’d both been pretending to watch. She was really waiting on me to talk to her about what happened with Cole, but I wasn’t ready for that.

“Come on.” I stood and carried Fitz to the kitchen. He wriggled and twisted until I let him down. Holding up one hand, I made a circling motion with my finger. “Spin.”

Fitz stood on his back legs and pawed the air with his front.

“Fitz.” I laughed at his antics and twirled my finger again. “Spin. Come on. You were doing it the other night.”

“I have one.” Lily crouched down and patted the floor. “Fitz, get the paper.”

Fitz yipped and spun in circles, raced to Lily, then zipped around the kitchen in a fit of tiny zoomies.

“He doesn’t know that one.” I chided Lily for confusing him, but she grinned.

“I’ve been teaching it to him when you bring him to my place. Go on. Fitz, get the paper.” She pointed into the living room, and Fitz zipped off in that direction as fast as his legs could go.

Seconds later, the sound of shredding paper came our way.

“Fitz, don’t tear it up.” Lily stood and rushed out of the kitchen. “I said bring it, not… Oh. My. Word. Rebecca, you’d better get in here.”

“What?” I ran for the living room, heart in my throat. “What happened?”

Lily held up my notebook, the one I’d spent years jotting down all my random ideas for book scenes, characters, and possible outlines. All the things I kept telling myself I would type into the computer but never bothered because the notebook was so much easier.

The weight of losing years of tidbits drove me down onto the couch. Maybe it wasn’t much to some, but that notebook represented the beginning of my career. I’d planned on keeping it forever to remind myself of how far I’d come. Now it was nothing but dog slobber and paper shreds.

Was I kidding myself about the whole thing? What did I know about romance and writing? I couldn’t even keep a relationship going longer than a month. Maybe this was a sign that I should take another look at my career choice.

7

REBECCA

Lily had tried to help me salvage the notebook, but nothing short of a miracle could put the tiny pieces back together again. It was worse than a Humpty Dumpty and it was never going back. She’d apologized until we both nearly cried, but I’d reassured her that everything was fine.

She didn’t believe me. Lily knew what that book had meant, the hopes and dreams it held within its worn covers.

I’d recover. I just needed time. I’d reassured her of that before she left for the night with one last apology and a promise that she’d go through it sliver by sliver and write down anything she could. I’d told her not to bother.

---