Page 24 of The Nanny Next Door

But how on earth was I supposed to focus on a musical after that?

All I wanted as the second act of the show played out in front of me was for Felipe to put his hands on me again, but he kept his composure far more than I could, only holding my hand against the armrest of our seats. My body was a live wire even after already having an orgasm, desperate for its next fix of Felipe Rojas. When the show concluded, earning a standing ovation during the cast’s final bows, all I wanted to do was grab Felipe and run back to the same hallway where he’d upended my entire world.

Luckily, somehow, I held it together until he and I were back in the limo, and not a second more. The door clicked shut, and I was reaching for him before we even got back into traffic, tugging his lips to mine with primal need. We were a mess of limbs and tongues and body heat, and I felt his hardness against me again, and I broke our kiss. Before I could think about it or overthink myself into a different decision, I asked Felipe in a whisper, “Can I come back to your hotel?”

He smiled like the sun breaking through storm clouds. “Lila, Corazon, I have never wanted anything more.”

16

LILA

It was finally happening. Tonight, I was going to lose my virginity. I’d never felt so ready and unready for anything in my life.

As Felipe and I rode the elevator up to his hotel room hand in hand, the anxiety started to creep in, but I willed it to quiet down so I could enjoy this moment. There was no part of me that was unsure about taking this step with this gorgeous, kind man—I was just uncertain about how well I could please him. His skilled hands at the theater, his easy confidence, even the sweet sensuality of our first kiss before dinner all told me he’d take great care of me in bed and out. I just hoped I wouldn’t disappoint him.

There was little fanfare when we were in Felipe’s room, the door locked behind us. Instantly, we fell back into each other’s arms, our lips scrambling for purchase on one another despite my hesitation. Felipe led us toward the king-sized bed as if taking the lead in a graceful waltz, and when I fell back against the mattress, everything became real. He must have seen something like panic in my eyes because there was less urgency in his movements when Felipe came to lie beside me, propping himself up on his elbow to look me in the eyes.

“Are you alright, mi amor? Are we moving too fast?”

I shook my head, but at the same time, I bit my lip. There were so many thoughts racing through my brain, and my body still felt like a taut bowstring waiting to release, and everything was changing. Felipe’s expression softened.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want, Lila,” he assured me softly, tracing a gentle finger over the slope of my cheek. “If you don’t want to sleep with me, that’s okay.”

“But I do,” I blurted out, suddenly afraid that this golden opportunity was going to slip away from me. “I–I want to so, so much. I’m just… well, it’s intimidating because I’m a virgin.”

I let the last words fall out in a rush, as if mushing all of the syllables together would hide the truth that felt so embarrassing to admit in the moment. Felipe seemed to pause as if someone had pressed a button on a remote. Then he blinked, looking directly into my eyes.

“Truly? You’ve never… not once?”

“Not once,” I admitted in a whisper. “You… tonight… that was the first time anyone has ever touched me like that at all.”

In a second, he was sitting bolt upright, his face tormented with a mix of emotions I couldn’t understand. Fear crept up, icy and constricting my throat. Did he not want me anymore? Was he repulsed by the idea of being with someone so inexperienced? Just the thought of that made me want to cry, and I wished desperately that I could evaporate, never be seen again. But when Felipe stood from the bed and faced me again, he looked… guilty.

“Lila, sweetness… maybe this is a mistake. As much as I want you—as much as my body needs you—I worry you may regret giving this part of yourself away.”

I blinked at him, dumbfounded. “What? I’m–I’m not giving anything away. I’m gaining something.”

“But don’t you want to save your first time for someone… special?” Felipe asked, his voice so heartbreakingly sad that I longed to jump up, comfort him with my body as well as my heart. Instead, I bit back my trembling lip and stared him straight in the eyes, determined not to get lost in the gorgeous green of them before I said what I wanted to say.

“Of course I want that,” I told him quietly. “This… this whole night has been so special, and I guess I could be wrong, but… I feel a connection with you, Felipe. That’s why I want it to be you, the first time.” And the last time, my silly heart wanted to say, but I held that back.

I could feel his relief in the air even from a few feet away. His face relaxed into the beautiful, almost-boyish joy he wore so well. “You’re not wrong, Corazon. I feel it, too. You may have caught onto this about me, but I’m not one to wine and dine on a whim. You’ve become very important to me in a short time, Lila, and I’m honored that you want to take this step with me.”

“Then get over here,” I barely breathed. It took every ounce of boldness I’d earned from hearing Felipe speak about me so kindly, and it paid off. Slowly, his movements fluid and seductive, Felipe began to approach the bed. My blood heated at the sight of him slowly undoing his belt and tossing it across the room.

Kissing Felipe was easier, even sweeter, now that everything was out in the open. I felt no concern that he’d judge me for any inexperienced fumbling, and I was happy to let him take charge as he moved over me, pressing our bodies together in a way that felt sinful with the prominent presence of his erection, though we were still fully-clothed.

Not for long, though, it seemed. Felipe's hands skillfully slid my dress off my shoulders and down my body, helping me wriggle out of it. All of this without ever abandoning my lips for more than a few seconds. Then, for the first time in my life, I was half-naked with a man.

I thought I would be more self-conscious, but in the quiet perfection of Felipe’s hotel room, just with him, I felt… free. Felipe, perfect and thoughtful as he was, stopped to admire me in my state of undress, the soft affection in his eyes enough to erase any fears I had left.

“You’re gorgeous, Lila. Like a painting of a goddess.”

“You’re perfect,” I told him, and he leaned in to kiss between my breasts. The warmth of him spread straight through to my heart. Slowly, sensually, his hands explored my exposed skin, soft caresses on my hips and thighs that made him hum in pleasure and me feel cherished. I couldn’t wait for him to take off my bra and panties, too. I wanted to be laid bare for this man.

When he moved up to my neck with his lips, I sighed, relaxing further into the comfort of the bed and his worship. The only thing that could be more perfect than this was if I could feel more of his skin against mine. While he kissed my neck, my collarbone, bringing my entire body to life, my own fumbling hands reached for the buttons of Felipe’s shirt, managing to undo the top one without disrupting his rhythm. But as that was all I could do, and he could see the desperation with which I needed him naked, he stopped to carefully undo the rest of the buttons for me and shrug his shirt off.

His warm olive-brown skin was decadent, his stomach and chest toned to leanly-muscled perfection. Without thinking, I reached for him, pulling him back to me by his slim hips so I could kiss him while running my hands over his body. When he pressed against me, skin to skin, I only wanted more. But I was still too new to this to feel confident going for his pants.

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