Page 17 of The Nanny Next Door

Lila laughed and chatted easily with everyone, her natural warmth and kindness winning them over instantly. She played with the younger kids, earning giggles and cheers as she joined in their games. My parents watched with approving smiles, their eyes reflecting their approval and pride.

So many snapshots of this perfect happiness cycled through my unconscious mind. I saw us dancing together at a family celebration, Lila’s eyes sparkling with happiness as we moved to the rhythm of the music. I imagined us sharing quiet moments, her hand in mine as we walked through the vineyards of my family’s estate, the setting sun our backdrop. I imagined waking up with her in my bed, sleepy and lush with the aftermath of our lovemaking the night before. I imagined our children, some with her sweet blonde curls. The vision of our future was so clear and so perfect, it felt like a promise. A glimpse of what could be.

Suddenly, I was jolted awake as the plane began its descent into Santiago. The pilot was reading off the local time, and I blinked through the haze, still seeing the glowing golden face of Lila Dawson like spots in my vision. I knew I was being too romantic, as I often did. But I couldn’t help the happiness and hope that the fantasy had stirred within me.

As we touched down and taxied to the gate, I looked at my phone again, Lila’s message still open and waiting. I considered how to respond to her flirtation, marveling at the fact that she’d even made such a bold choice when she seemed so innocent, so sweet. My heart raced as I thought about the possibilities. I wanted to push this further, to ask her out, as she was clearly suggesting I should do. I wasn’t technically her boss, had no children for her to nanny, so it wouldn't even be inappropriate, right? She wasn’t so much younger than me that it would be a problem.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. Then, with a mixture of excitement and trepidation, I began to type my response.

Always lovely to hear from you, sweet Lila. I’m happy to arrange this with my partner—and I hope you don’t mind my saying that I’d love to keep in contact. No business, only pleasure.

I hit Send before I could second-guess myself, my heart pounding. I knew it was a risky move, but I couldn’t deny the connection I felt with Lila, the attraction that had drawn me to her instantly. I was determined to see where this path might lead, hopeful that my dreams might just become a reality. Then, my phone pinged with a text.

Lila: I would love that.

My heart leapt into my throat as I started to type back.

11

LILA

Felipe: Good morning, beautiful Lila. What are you up to?

Lila: Good morning. ?? On the subway with Jamie, heading to Olivia’s. First day with both kiddos! Wish me luck? XX

Felipe: Always, though I know you don’t need it.

In every way but two—the baby in my lap and the beautiful man blowing up my phone—it was a perfectly normal morning ride on the subway. But I guessed those changes were pretty big. It had all come on so fast, I was still struggling to accept the reality of it.

I’d picked up baby Jamie from Mr. Pierce’s penthouse bright and early this morning, and rather than accepting his offer of a car, I decided I’d bring Jamie on the subway to Miles Kramer’s place for the first time. It felt easiest to rip off the Band-Aid now, rather than letting the kid get used to a more peaceful ride in a town car and then trying to transition him to the subway. So far, Jamie was loving it, giggling when strangers waved or smiled at him, his wide eyes taking in all the new sights with that uniquely childlike sense of wonder. I was happy to have proven myself right—and mean Mr. Pierce just a little bit wrong. Besides, there was always something romantic to me about taking the train. Or maybe everything just felt a little more rosy now that Felipe and I were flirting.

It was hard not to heart-react to every text he sent, especially when he called me beautiful and any number of other wonderful, complimentary things in nearly every message. I had my roommates’ voices warning me at the back of my mind that he was too good to be true, that he was “love bombing” me and couldn’t be trusted, so I tried to keep my emotional guard up as much as I was able. But after twenty-two years of never receiving this kind of attention from boys, or later, men, it was hard not to get swept up in the romance of it all. Felipe Rojas was gorgeous and a certified sweet talker.

When he’d first responded to me, I’d been almost too stunned to speak. It was tough to believe that my roommates’ meddling had actually worked. Luckily, though, I’d been sans-roommates for the moment when his text came through, so I had plenty of time to consider the best way to respond. My acceptance of his offer to keep talking seemed all the permission he needed to let loose the romance within—and then we were off to the text-flirting races.

Lila: You don’t really know that, though. You’ve never even seen me in action!

Felipe: I saw your interview. Smart and gorgeous is a winning combination, and you have a sweet spirit the kids must adore.

I grinned down at my phone. “See that, Jamie?” I whispered in the little guy’s ear as I showed him my phone screen. “I think he likes me.”

In seconds, another text came in, and it was hard not to squeal aloud.

Felipe: As for seeing you in action… well, I’m a gentleman, so I won’t say exactly what I’m thinking.

That one I did heart-react to. I couldn’t help it. At the same time I swallowed hard and wished for a little fan, or at least that I could more easily reach my water bottle without disrupting Jamie, who had insisted I hold him rather than keeping him in the carrier. Was it just me, or was the subway getting especially hot all of a sudden?

This level of flirtation was about all we’d gotten to so far, and that suited me just fine. I was still so new to this, and though texting came naturally to me as a writer, flirtation did not. It took me way too long to come up with suitable responses most of the time, and even when I hit Send, I wasn’t always satisfied with what I’d said. Felipe was patient with me, at least.

The thing was, I always knew what I wanted to say, or at least what I wished I knew how to articulate. Felipe’s flirtation gave me butterflies in my stomach and further down, and that rush of pleasure had me wanting wild things I’d never dreamed of before. Things that made my blood seem to heat in my veins.

I couldn’t think like that with a baby on my lap, though. Besides, the little guy was getting too squirmy for me to hold onto him easily, so I leaned forward and put Jamie back into his little seat, shushing him gently and handing him his favorite rattling octopus toy when he started to get cranky. In seconds, he was buckled up, settled, and happy again, giggling to himself as he shook his toy around in his tiny fist.

Which meant I was free to fall back into the rabbit hole of Felipe Fantasyland.

His eyes came to mind first, bright green and always near glittering with his particular brand of overflowing charisma. I could so easily see him staring into my eyes adoringly, or else locking his gaze onto mine in the midst of carnal pleasure.

He would whisper sweet Spanish things, calling me beautiful as his hands traced my curves like he knew them as well as I did. In my vivid imagination, I could feel the rush of him stripping off my dress, cupping my breasts in his hands and squeezing them with a hot possession that turned my core to molten liquid. Even more, I could practically feel my inner muscles clenching at the thought of him plunging inside me, so much hotter and deeper than the impersonal vibrator my friends had gifted me for my twenty-first birthday. The stupid thing never felt like quite enough, lacking the body heat I really craved, even as I thrust it into myself hard and fast enough to bring forth the ricochet of my orgasm.

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