Page 93 of Mine to Worship

Kian jumps from the bed, muscles corded with tension, sweat gathering at his nape.

“You’re not there, you’re here, and you’re my whole world. I would never let anything bad happen to you,” I say.

His voice cracks. “That’s my line, angel.”

He crosses his hands behind his neck and stares outside the window, his past reflected in his tortured eyes.

“The first night he yanked me from the bed, in my pajamas, we drove to a warehouse in the middle of nowhere, where my training began. I wasn’t even seven. That night was the worst.”

His hands ball at his sides, and my eyes well up. How can anyone treat a child like that? Some traumas run bone deep, but he will outgrow them, every day a bit more, until they hold no more power.

“There was not an inch of my skin left unbeaten, and that was just the beginning. I didn’t get to rest. I would cry at night in my room, and they would yell at me to stop waking Brandon, but he never cried as if he knew not to.

“Jillian even told me how it would do me good to be able to fight. She said I could protect my brother and make my father proud, while drilling into me not to say anything to my grandfather. That he might take me away from the family and Brandon would follow in my steps. I was a stupid kid, believing them… Richard just wanted to make money off my back.”

Tears roll down my face, and I wipe them quickly with my hands. My heart splinters in my chest for him. His hands flatten on each side of the window, and his head drops.

“It was the beatings that made me mad enough to beat everyone else. By eighteen, they called me king. I saw things, experienced things… I got so used to living like that, I stayed even after legally he had no power over me, until I realized I either leave or become a monster myself by not stopping what was going on.”

I stumble from the bed and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my cheek on his back. I hope he will make Richard pay for this. I get why he wants to: to get his power back and make amends with the kid who had his freedom taken away. His thumping heart penetrates the heavy silence. He turns in my arms, an unsure look on his face.

“It’s okay. I want to know everything,” I whisper and caress his bottom lip with my thumb. Pure anguish looks back at me.

“On my fourteenth birthday, Richard brought me two girls. Blonde girls.”

My body stiffens and his does in response.

“They were a few years older. When I was done, they asked him if they could come again, and he was fuming.”

He cradles my face between his hands, his thumbs brushing my cheeks.

“Sex has always been a tool of power for me. Blondes, so he doesn’t forget how he never broke me.”

I kiss a spot on his collarbone. “I’ll never be jealous of blondes again, that’s for sure.”

“It took me years to finally associate sex with pleasure, and it happened with you.” He lowers his head, and his lips find mine. “Love, happiness, pleasure. I have learned all those with you.”

I cry in Kian’s arms as we hold on to each other, in despair for what he went through, in utter relief for my heart.

“He couldn’t break me, but I was not the only one there. There were dozens, boys that pissed their pants, and those girls, so young, their eyes so forlorn.” He gulps and shakes his head.

His hair falls in his eyes, and I tuck a strand back.

His hand clutches mine and his voice cracks. “No one cared. There were businessmen, politicians, even stars. I was dead inside, Ellia. My grandfather tried to help me, got people to talk to me. But after so much abuse, and so many years living in the dark, it was futile. It took me two years to be able to look at myself without seeing the helpless boy I had been. I fought and won every illegal fight and cage fight across this country and beyond. It’s also when I met Jason and Kendrick at one of my fights.

“Jason is good at digging up information. He’s resilient like no one I know. And Kendrick? He can find anyone with his laser focus, patience, and sharp determination.”

Independent contractors just got a new meaning. But I understand why Kendrick and Jason are private about the subject. It sounds dangerous. I’m just glad these two have Kian’s back.

He continues. “With the money I made, I put it into financing the operation of finding and getting rid of those scum of people getting off on the misery of innocent kids. We founded the company they lead. I am a silent shareholder and nothing more. A lot of people are interested in services like that, from the government to the ones pulling the strings in the back. That alone makes me enough money, I wouldn’t even need the inheritance, but those shares to overthrow Richard.”

I barely hold my tears as he tells me everything, pouring out his soul. I will carry his story with me for the rest of my life, a pulsing reminder of how strong he is. A mark telling me to always treat others kindly because I might be unaware of the demons they are fighting.

Only thinking about my baby enduring something like that and the despair claws through every layer of skin. How can anyone let that happen and knowingly? I caress my belly and his eyes burn with a protectiveness so hot, I know he’d personally drag hell down on everyone who might hurt her.

“What about Jillian?”

“Oh, behind that smile and her obsession for Brandon, she knew what Richard had done, and her bank accounts are filled with money made off me.”

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