Page 73 of Mine to Worship

“The air is good for you and the baby,” my mom says, taking in a long breath.

“Yes, that's why we decided to stay a while longer.”

“You two seem even more in love than at your wedding.”

I halt on the spot, and say, “It did happen fast, it still feels like a dream.” Better a dream than a nightmare.

“Life drives along at various speeds, but you can disembark and say, slow down.”

“I hope you’re not giving that motivational speech to your children at school!”

“Yes, I am. Safety and seat belts first.”

I chuckle and loop my arm around hers, enjoying nature a while longer before we return to the chalet.

After dinner, we all sit on the couch to watch a movie. After I yawn, because that is all it takes one yawn from me, Kian extends his hand. I take it while shaking my head at him, but secretly loving how attuned he is to me. We excuse ourselves and head to our bedroom.

“How is it, having loving parents?” he asks as we lie in bed.

I turn on my side. It’s not pain I detect in his eyes, but curiosity. My heart breaks into tiny pieces that he’s never experienced parental love.

“I am so sorry.”

“No.” He places his hands on each side of my face and kisses the tip of my nose, my eyelids, and my forehead. “I am happy you have two loving parents, that you let me be a part of that.”

“I never knew anything else,” I reply. “They have always been there. My dad showed me how to ride a bike. I remember making Sunday dinner with my mom, and all the trips we took. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t feel loved or cared for. At the first sign of discomfort, my parents would rush to my side. They cried with me and laughed with me, encouraged my art, celebrated me, and stood by me when my world collided. That’s what parents do, what you will do too, because you are not the people who raised you. You are not the monster, they are. You will be a great father.” I believe my words with every fiber of my being.

“You have more trust in me as a father than I do.” He rolls onto his back, and crosses his arms under his head.

I turn his face towards me, fingers along his jaw.

“It’s how we complement each other, we’re a team. We’ll navigate parenthood, like with our love.”

“We fucked up.” He grinds his jaw, his sharp features tensing up.

“But look at us now, we’re inextricably linked. We’re humans, we make mistakes whether we want to or not.”

Chapter 27

Ellia

The smell of sweet cherries and dough nudges my senses awake, my stomach growling in anticipation.

“Someone’s hungry today.” Kian’s face lights up.

“When I can’t get through the door, you can blame your baby.”

He dips his head and whispers to my belly, “I am on your side, baby. Mommy has a sweet tooth.”

I cover my mouth and suppress a smile.

“Don’t gang up on me, you two.”

“We would never dare,” he says, his eyes shining with sincerity, and he inches his face closer.

“I am always on your team,” he guarantees.

“Oh, I see what you’re doing.”

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