Page 2 of Mine to Worship

I whisper his name into the twilight. It’s the call of my heart for him to mend it. I shake my head at my idiotic thought and walk to catch the bus that will take me closer to my destination. After another hour, the driver opens the doors when we reach the bus station.

A lonely path stretches with no one in sight as I walk down the road to my aunt’s house.

Aunt Esther chose to live in a village far from the rest of civilization. There are several wooden lodges, spread apart to ensure the picture of loneliness. I wonder if the hundreds of residents who live here are also running from something. Or if they’re enjoying a life that bows to nothing but to nature.

She is rocking on her porch swing, but the movement stops when she sees me. She rushes to me, dust enveloping us as she wraps her arms around me in a cocoon. My lower lip quivers, and my body rocks with the pain that chokes my life essence. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’m here. It’s going to be all right,” she reassures me. When my blurry eyes find hers, I nod.

We enter her home where paintings cover the wooden walls and big glass windows let you peek into the dense forest behind them. Calmness surrounds me; I feel safe here.

In the kitchen, at the sound of water boiling, Aunt Esther darts over to take a pot off the stove. She makes two cups of tea, and takes the seat across from me. She sips from the steamy cup, her eyes filled with questions I’m not ready to answer.

“I didn’t know where to go…” I say finally, my fingers fidgeting with the saltshaker on the table, and she covers them with hers.

“I am always here for you. I am glad you came to me.”

“Please don’t tell Mom.”

“I won’t. But what happened?” she asks, her eyes narrowing in worry.

“We’re supposed to be on our honeymoon for the next two weeks…” I choke on my words and her face contorts into a sad one.

“Where is Jake?”

“He’s on duty.”

“Will it ever go away?”

“The pain, yes, but…”

“But what?” I ask, desperation clinging onto every letter.

“The memories won’t.”

Dejection sinks in my chest; it crushes my heart. After we finish drinking the tea in silence, we go upstairs. On the left side at the top of the stairs, my old room waits for me. I plop onto the bed and it welcomes me with a squeak.

“Take your time, Ellia.”

There will never be enough time.

Chapter 2

Kian

Blinding light streams through the windows, and I hiss, covering my eyes. I blink a few times to adjust. My headache threatens to split my skull. I fall back on the couch and put my head between my hands. My eyes follow the empty bottle, then flit up the stairs.

With renewed determination, I ignore the throbbing in my temples, stand, and climb the stairs.

I don’t call her name. It’s as if my entire being already knows what I don’t want to acknowledge. Ellia’s not there. She left me, and it becomes clear when I enter the bedroom. It lacks the warmth of her, while her sweet scent of vanilla and traces of sage linger. The bed is made and I tear the covers off, tossing the pillows away. What I find in the closet gives me pause. Her clothes and duffel bag are gone.

I drop on my knees, yanking at my hair. I lost her.

Did I go too far yesterday? As if I could fuck her like she’s just another woman. I tried, but I couldn’t even look her in the eyes, too afraid she might see through my ruse. Guilt morphs into anger. Are she and Brandon together while my insides crumple and die in me?

I pull myself up, take the stairs down, and pick up my cell phone. Two rings and Brandon answers.

“Where is she?” I yell, and my gaze lands on the mirror. I am startled by my reflection––gritted teeth, twitching jaw, murderous gaze, disheveled hair, and rumpled shirt.

“Who?” The fact that he acts surprised has another wave of anger surge through me.

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