Page 94 of Mine to Ruin

I snap my pencil and shoot up, my hands flattening on the surface.

“I won’t accept another delay. Either you come up with a viable plan, and a back-up plan, or you’ll face the consequences.”

They bob their heads, and I massage my temples.

When the meeting ends, I storm through the door and enter my office, Melanie hot on my trail.

“Take into consideration that outside factors may intervene,” she calls after me.

“I expect excellence and not excuses.”

“Cut the bullshit. There is more. I haven’t seen you seething like that in years.”

I tune Melanie out and remember Ellia and Brandon together in the studio.

She loves him, the happiness in her voice when she’s with him. I ask myself why she is with me. My mother’s words ring in my head. It’s my own damn fault because I always answer when she calls; I’m always doing the same things and expecting different results.

“Sooner or later she’ll choose him, you’ll see. She will tire of your darkness.”

I ball my palms into fists and trash my office. My anger needs an outlet. Fuck, I’ve never lost my control like that. Melanie takes a step back, her hand flying to her mouth in shock. Ellia bursts into my office, her eyes wide, but not in fear of me but for me.

Still, I do nothing. I expect her to rush outside, but she surprises me when she grabs the door and holds it open, addressing my VP who is still standing there with her hand on her mouth.

“Excuse us, Melanie, I would like to talk to my boyfriend.”

A small smile tugs at my lips, the fire in her eyes making me believe in this illusion of her wanting me, preferring me. Like a sucker for her attention, I gesture for Melanie to leave. She does, gnashing her teeth. She knows she’s on thin ice with me.

Ellia is so damn cute in her jean overalls, and a floral bandana on her head, splashes of paint on her arms and clothes. She crosses her arms and plops down on the chair, legs crossed.

“I gave you time, but your stubborn ass just gets worse.”

This woman can destroy me in a way I am not sure I would recover from.

“I have work to do.”

“Don’t be like this,” she says, her mouth tipping up in a plea.

What if they’re right? She loves him, too. What guarantee do I have one day she won’t tire of my demons and leave me for him?

Fine. If she won’t leave, then I will.

I get inside the penthouse and lock myself in my office. If I worked like today, I wouldn’t have gotten where I am, but my productivity went from shit to shittier with each hour. I lean back in my chair and rub my eyes. I glance at the watch. It’s late when I hear Ellia come into the home that I will never consider just mine again.

I urge myself to go to her, try to explain to her, but what do I say? That I am fucking jealous of my brother, that those demons have ripped me apart since hearing her saying she loves him.

I shut my laptop and pour myself a glass of whiskey and move to the couch. Missing her persists like a phantom pain, and it drives me crazy.

Chapter 29

Ellia

I can’t believe he left without talking this out. I can’t believe he’d doubt my feelings for him. It breaks my heart realizing how emotionally scarred he is if he thinks because I said I love you to Brandon it’s the same. How do I make him understand you can love many people, in very different ways, but the way I love him is just for him. The part of my heart belongs only to him, and he shares it with no one.

I place my head between my hands, around me the contents of his office are scattered around. That torment in his eyes, those tense shoulders, his white knuckles, that desolate image hunts me.

Am I losing him?

I wake up to an empty bed and a chill seeping through my bones even with the Nevada sun rising in the sky. He didn’t come to bed and my heart cracks. I remind myself he is as desperate for me as I am for him and the thought brings me a bit of comfort.

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