Page 142 of Mine to Ruin

Outside our old apartment, where we moved in together in the third year, Aubrey pops a champagne bottle.

“I can’t believe it went so fast.”

We climb back in the limo and Aubrey says, looking at Tara, “Do you remember when Ellia came home after a date, looking like she was going to puke.”

“Ick, that guy wanted to stroke my tonsils.”

“Yes, I remember I had to drag you out… It’s called college life for a reason.”

“Yes, to get a degree.” Tara rolls her eyes at her and Aubrey waves her off.

“I can’t believe I am still friends with you party poopers.”

We burst into laughter.

“You two are the best.”

“I know,” Aubrey chimes.

“You too.” adds Tara.

We sip on our champagne glasses and take the road to Valley of Fire. We eat in our favorite restaurant, and they all congratulate me and have a table decorated for the bride-to-be. Emotions swallow me up, and tears flood my eyes. We make another stop at the donut store where Dan extends a giant one and says, “I made it for this occasion. All the best, Ellia.”

Aubrey whispers. “Poor guy, he never had a chance. He is so into you, he almost had tears in his eyes.”

“You’re exaggerating. He’s just friendly.”

“You’re blind at times,” Aubrey says and lets out an exasperated sigh.

“No, she’s Kian-infected.”

His name alone sends arrows to my heart, and I urge myself to smile. We visit one gallery after another, hand in hand, and I wonder what he is doing. Our last stop is the club, where my eyes found Kian’s and I could see my life book being written with him in it.

We amble to the table we had then and just like before, I tilt my head and he’s there. Nothing really changed. The same intense yet secluded gaze, and I am transfixed. I wish I could escape this need to search in him for the one that lifted my heart and not the one that smashed it under his heel. I don’t run like the first time. I already know where this leads—to a marriage of convenience for him, while I protect the ones I love.

“Even now you can’t take your eyes off each other,” Tara says dreamily.

I nod, like in a trance.

I undulate my body while he watches me, and I pretend we’re still together, still in love. We mingle together and hours go by, a touch there, an embrace that has my heart twitching and screaming in agony.

The night ends, and we part in the lobby. Kian and I wait for the elevator, the silence between us unbearable.

I turn around and walk back into the club. Without the music, the party people, and him, it’s just a room. A sigh escapes my lips, and his shoes stomp on the floor.

“If you could change anything, would you have still come that night?” His question has crossed my mind more than once tonight. But I come to the same conclusion every time.

“It’s irrelevant, I think we were supposed to meet.” I crane my neck to look at him; a pensive expression covers his face.

“I wish you would have stayed away,” he says, burrowing the knife deeper in my heart while I stare at him, and he continues. “I thought I was selfish, but you topped me, you showed me what could be, and then snatched it away.” His eyes fill with anguish, his hands curling and uncurling at his sides.

“What else?” I ask, and his feet swallow the distance between us. He cups my face in his hands.

“I was there. I don’t even remember what I thought and then I saw you. And that was it, I couldn’t undo it. My heart sped up in my chest, my eyes sought you out, and a calmness descended over me when I had you right in front of me. No one and nothing held my attention, just you, and I wanted to take, taste, touch you and this is how I fall.” His thumbs caress my cheek and I place my hands on his hands.

“There was something in you that called to me. The rush I felt, the burst of color you represented, and then I discovered that such a madness is called love.”

“I loved you, Ellia.” A breath brimming with regret rocks his chest.

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