Page 134 of Mine to Ruin

The next day, he pounds on my door and says, “And move back in. I hate rumors.”

“I am fine here.”

“This is non-negotiable.”

I shut the door in his face, but I move back in.

My parents and our friends come to visit, and he twirls a lock of my hair while I caress his hand. A lie. A lie that reminds me of the love we shared.

“Look at them, so sweet together,” my mom says with a dreamy expression.

I freeze, and whisper in his ear, “Cheater.”

“Oh, then what does that make you?” he throws back.

The meltdown happens when I change into dress number three, a vaporous dress with filigree details covering it.

“You found the one, haven’t you?” My friends cheer and clap when I step out, and I smile, despite the aching gap where my heart used to be. The glee in my mom’s eyes numbs the pain. I trudge back to the penthouse, and Kian sits in his armchair, a drink in his hand, his forlorn gray eyes following me.

I grab it from him and he grumbles.

“Make yourself one, will you?” But tonight, I am not in the mood and I plop down on the couch and look out the big window, the sun fading on the horizon.

“The dress is beautiful,” I say.

He stands, and he pours himself another glass. “I knew it was the right one, strangely I had the same feeling as you.”

My lips wobble as I admit. “When will it stop hurting? You promised to take care of my heart.”

“You broke mine first.”

“No, I didn’t.” I leave and head to the bedroom. I hug the pillow that smells like him, feeling his eyes on me.

He approaches me and plays with my hair. “I loved you so much. There is nothing left in me.”

“We shouldn’t get married.” I remind myself I’m doing this for the safety of my family, and I squeeze my eyes shut, hating the other reason, the reason I will never admit out loud.

“No, but it will help me with getting what I want,” he says with a heavy expression.

“And what about me?”

“I don’t care. Not anymore.”

He puts an end to the pretense with words that butcher me. I shut the curtains and let the darkness swallow me up completely. Only love makes you weak. Only love can destroy you. Only love can shove you into misery.

My body and heart pin me to bed with heaviness. I just want to sleep, and forget, and not be awake. I pee and crawl back into bed and put the mask over my eyes. It hurts so much. The only break is when darkness lulls me to bed.

“Get up,” he says, but I roll on my stomach.

“Go away,” I mumble.

He lifts me up and throws me over his shoulder. He turns on the shower, cold water splashes my body, and my teeth clatter. I hit his chest, but the exertion has me dropping on my ass, and I lift my knees to my chin.

“Wash up, then we’re going out to eat. If you’re not ready in ten minutes, I'll do it myself.”

Was he always this cruel? Was I blinded by love? Could my heart have been so mistaken?

On autopilot I do that. I even apply makeup, straighten my hair, and I put a black jumpsuit on. He enters and his eyes glare at my hair.

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