Page 88 of Pucking Amazing

For a second he melts into me and I’m relieved, thinking he’s let me in. But then he tenses again.

“I can’t, DJ. I just...I can’t right now.” He ducks under my arm and practically sprints away.

“Fuck!” I spin and smash my fist into a locker, putting a sizeable dent in the metal. Pain explodes in my knuckles but I barely even notice. What the hell was that?

I flex my bloodied hand, examining it idly as my mind works in overdrive. This thing between me and Ty...it’s too important to let some macho hockey bullshit torpedo it. But how do I get that through his thick, beautiful skull?

I slump down onto the bench and cradle my head in my hands. One way or another, I need to make Tyler understand what he means to me.

That I’m here for him, for us. Even if it means confronting shit he’d rather avoid.

Because Tyler Simmonds is worth fighting for, and I’m not about to give up now.

CHAPTER 30

SYDNEY

I glance at the clock as Ethan finally strides out of my office, his lanky form disappearing down the hallway. 5:47 PM. Shoot, there goes my plan to hit the gym before heading home.

I’m only two days into this week and it’s already been totally brutal, back-to-back sessions and meetings with barely a second for myself. It also started badly, with me having to tell Coach Daniels about Mikey’s progress–or lack thereof–and the way he talked to me at our last session.

Coach was pretty disturbed by the whole thing. We’ve been in extra meetings all week putting together a performance and behavior plan.

With a sigh, I start shoving files into my bag. These long days are really doing a number on my energy levels.

A knock sounds at the door. I look up to see Jamie poking his head in, his boyish face creased with worry.

“Hey Syd, you got a minute?”

I plaster on an encouraging smile.

“Of course, come on in.” I gesture to the chair across from my desk as I sit back down. “What’s on your mind?”

He settles into the seat, hands clasped tightly. “I just can’t shake the bad vibes of that last game, you know? I mean, we won, but even now…the energy on the ice feels so hostile. And the guys...everyone seems on edge.”

I nod, leaning forward. “That’s totally understandable. High-pressure situations can really amp up emotions and adrenaline.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m just not used to feeling so anxious about my performance, or everyone else’s.” He runs a hand through his dark curls, agitated.

“Well, let’s talk through some de-stressing techniques. Have you tried any mindfulness or breathing exercises?” I suggest. His skeptical look makes me chuckle. “I know, I know, it can feel a little woo-woo at first. But studies show...”

We spend the next twenty minutes going over various relaxation methods - progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, the works. By the end, Jamie looks noticeably more at ease, his shoulders no longer up by his ears.

“Thanks Syd, I think those will really help,” he says earnestly as he stands to leave.

“Anytime. My door is always open.” I give him an encouraging grin as he departs.

No sooner has Jamie vacated the doorway than Lukas appears, his hulking defenseman frame making the room feel instantly smaller. Oh boy, here we go again.

“Hey Sydney, I was hoping I’d catch you,” he says, an uncharacteristic vulnerability in his usually confident voice.

I stifle my exhaustion, waving him in. “Well, you’re in luck. What’s up?”

As he starts unloading about his anxiety over his slipping performance stats, the weight of the job presses down on me. Player after player, worry after worry...I’m starting to feel like a sponge that’s soaked up all it can hold.

I glance longingly at my phone, wishing I had the energy to text DJ or Tyler to see if they want to grab a much-needed drink….or maybe work out our stress in the bedroom.

But who am I kidding? By the time I’m done listening to Lukas pour his heart out, I’ll barely have the mental capacity to drive myself home and face-plant into bed. And it’s not like Ty has been around much lately, anyway...

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