Page 52 of Pucking Amazing

“There’s this guy on the team…I mean, I’ve always felt this attraction to guys too, not just girls. But with DJ...the way he makes me feel, it’s intense. Unavoidable. I don’t know how to explain it; I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”

I rake a hand through my hair, hot and frazzled, and Sydney’s face inexplicably pops into my mind.

“But I’m still into girls too! I’m so confused...”

My leg bounces anxiously under the table. What in the rambling hell am I talking about? Leah sees my consternation and reaches over to squeeze my hand. Her touch is gentle and reassuring.

“Tyler, breathe. It’s okay,” she soothes, smiling. “There’s nothing wrong with being bi. I’m so proud of you for telling me.”

I blink back the sudden wetness in my eyes.

“You are? I was so scared you’d think I was...I don’t know. A freak or something.”

“Never,” Leah says firmly. “You’re my brother and I love you, no matter what. I just want you to be happy. To be yourself.”

A lump rises in my throat. “Thanks, sis. You have no idea how much that means to me. But…don’t tell Steven, yet, okay? I’m not sure…”

I trail off, my voice catching with unspoken fears of rejection. Our brother…he’s not as understanding as Leah. Leah nods immediately, understanding my hesitation.

“Of course, Ty. Your truth is safe with me until you’re ready to share it with anyone else,” she promises firmly, squeezing my hand again for emphasis.

Relief washes over me, mingled with a newfound sense of freedom. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hadn’t even realized how heavily hiding this part of myself had been holding me down.

Leah’s eyes soften as she looks at me, her features etched with loving concern. “So, this thing with DJ…is it serious? I mean, do you think it might go somewhere?”

I shrug, a small smile playing on my lips despite my inner turmoil.

“Maybe? I don’t know. We’re just...seeing where things go right now.” My smile fades a bit as I add, “It’s complicated, since we’re teammates. And he’s…well, he’s a lot more experienced than I am, if you know what I mean.”

I blush. Why does he make me feel like I’m a teenager again? I’ve got goddamn butterflies in my stomach just thinking about him.

Leah chuckles softly, her face brightening up with a mix of amusement and understanding.

“Oh, I see! The notorious DJ.” She teases gently, nudging my foot under the table. “Just remember, it’s all about communication, Ty. It doesn’t matter how experienced or inexperienced someone is, if you’re not on the same page, things can get messy.”

I nod, absorbing her words with slight trepidation. Communication has never been my strong suit in relationships. Maybe that’s why they rarely lasted long or ended well.

“You’re right,” I admit begrudgingly. “And I guess I want to be sure about whatever’s going on with DJ before I get too deep into it.”

The conversation shifts as we dive into lighter topics—movies we want to watch, vacation plans, and Leah’s new recipe experiments. But through it all, I’m only half-present; my thoughts keep drifting back to DJ.

Is this just a fling for him? He’s notorious for moving on from one lover to the next, and open with the team about not being monogamous. Should I just assume whatever’s going on is purely physical?

I chide myself internally—wasn’t I just saying that I wanted to take things slow? It shouldn’t matter to me whether DJ sees this as serious or not, not if I don’t even know what I want.

So why does it feel like my heart is sinking?

CHAPTER 17

SYDNEY

My last meeting of the day is a status update. I lean forward in my chair, meeting Coach Daniels’ keen gaze across his cluttered desk.

“Jason’s been making real strides lately,” I say. “He’s been consistently attending AA meetings with the support of his wife and really opening up during our sessions about his drinking. I think he’s starting to understand how it’s been a crutch for him to avoid dealing with deeper issues.”

Coach nods thoughtfully. “That’s great to hear. I’ve noticed a change in him on the ice too. He seems more focused, more at peace with himself.”

“Absolutely,” I agree. “And Tomas too. He’s been journaling every day, unpacking a lot of the anger and resentment that was fueling his drug use. We’ve been working on healthier coping mechanisms and he’s really embraced the process.”

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