Page 21 of Pucking Amazing

I stop myself, realizing I’m veering into dangerous territory. I can’t tell Sydney about DJ. If I say the words out loud, it makes them real.

And I’m not ready for that.

Sydney is watching me carefully, her expression soft and open. “It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. I know how hard it can be, to think you’re fighting a battle alone. My ex, Paul...our relationship really did a number on my self-esteem. He always made me feel like I needed to be someone else to make him happy.”

My heart clenches at the vulnerability in her voice. I turn my arm over, grasping her hand in mine.

“You are good enough, Syd,” I tell her firmly. “You’re more than enough. Fuck Paul for making you think otherwise.”

A ghost of a smile crosses her lips. “Thanks. I’m working on believing that.”

She squeezes my fingers gently.

“The point is,” she continues, “I understand how suffocating other people’s expectations can be. Even well-meaning ones. At the end of the day, you have to be true to yourself, Tyler. Figure out what you want. What makes you happy.”

“What if I don’t know what that is?” The words slip out before I can stop them, laced with a raw desperation.

Sydney’s thumb rubs soothingly over the back of my hand. “That’s okay. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Just...be gentle with yourself. Let yourself feel whatever it is you’re feeling. The rest will come in time.”

I nod slowly, lost in thought.

My brain keeps circling back to DJ. The jolt of electricity I have when our eyes meet across the locker room. The way he calmed me down on the plane today—well, at least until I blew up in his face like an asshole....

I’m on the verge of blurting out my confused, inappropriate feelings when a wave of panic slams into me.

What the hell am I doing? I can’t say any of this out loud. I’m on a goddamn date with a beautiful woman, for fuck’s sake.

Bracing my elbows on the table, I shift closer to Sydney, fixing her with my most charming smile. “You’ve given me a lot to think about. But enough about me. I want to hear more about you, Syd. And not just the counselor side. The real you. Hopes, dreams, dirty little secrets...I’m all ears.”

I layer my voice with innuendo, letting the implication hang in the air between us. Sydney arches an eyebrow, a slow grin spreading across her face.

“Oh, I see how it is. You want to get to know the real me?”

“Absolutely,” I murmur.

I’m finding that Sydney makes it easy to focus on her—the look she gives me sends heat racing straight to my groin.

“Also I should have said—you look stunning tonight, Sydney. That dress is...wow.” My eyes flick down to the V of her neckline before meeting her gaze again.

“Thank you,” Sydney smiles shyly, a pink blush creeping into her cheeks. “You look very handsome yourself.”

I grin, and the excitement of the moment makes my head light. For the first time in a long time, I’m really connecting with someone. Flirting is natural, easy.

Not like my tortured angst about DJ.

As the evening progresses I find myself inventing excuses to touch Sydney—tucking an errant lock of hair behind her ear, offering my jacket when she shivers slightly in the air conditioning, letting my hands linger on her bare shoulders as I help her slip it on.

“Thank you,” Sydney says quietly, her eyes meeting mine as she leans slightly towards me.

My thumb strokes over the soft skin at the nape of her neck and my breath catches. My body is reacting strongly to her nearness—my tight jeans, already constricting, become far too tight around my hardening length.

Inhaling the subtle floral scent of her perfume, I have the sudden urge to trail my lips along the graceful column of her throat.

To skim my hands lower, over her curves...

Stop it, I chastise myself. This is Sydney. The Blizzards’ counselor. I need to keep things in check, take it slow—if there’s any chance of something happening between us, we’d have to be careful about it. But damn if she doesn’t look incredible in that clingy dress, her full breasts straining against the fabric...

I clear my throat, leaning back in my seat. “Another drink?” I signal the waitress.

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