Page 104 of Pucking Amazing

I want so badly to reach out and squeeze his hand in reassurance. To pull him into a comforting hug and let him know it’s okay, that I’m here for him no matter what. But I restrain myself, clasping my hands tightly in my lap instead.

“I’m glad you told me, DJ. That must have been really hard for you to admit out loud.” I give him an encouraging smile. “Have you thought about getting it checked out by the team doctor?”

DJ’s jaw clenches and he looks away again. “Nah, it’s not that bad. I can handle it.”

Classic stubborn athlete. I sigh inwardly.

“DJ, your health needs to be your top priority. If your knee is hurting, you owe it to yourself to get it looked at. At the very least, the doc might be able to give you some stretches or PT exercises to help manage the pain.”

He’s quiet for a long moment, his fingers drumming restlessly on his muscular thigh. Finally, he blows out a breath.

“Yeah, okay. You’re right. I’ll make an appointment to see the doc this week.”

Relief rushes through me and I beam at him. “I think that’s a great decision. I’m really proud of you for taking this step.”

DJ meets my gaze, his dark eyes stormy with emotion. “Thanks, Syd. For listening and not making me feel like a total wuss about this.” He reaches out like he wants to take my hand, then thinks better of it and stops himself.

Oh god, I want to touch him so badly. To feel his warm skin against mine, to interlace our fingers...

But no. I can’t. Slowly, regretfully, I inch my hand back and clasp them together again.

“Of course, DJ.” I keep my voice steady and expression neutral, even as my heart cracks.

This is ridiculous—I can’t be a good counselor to this man, not with the way I care about him.

“Although…I do think it’d be better for you to see someone else for a while, you know, for counseling. To maintain proper boundaries, you know? I can…I can make a referral.”

His face shutters closed, going carefully blank. “Right. Boundaries. Got it.”

It physically hurts to see him withdraw so completely. But I know deep down this is the right call, painful as it is.

We both need some space. I can’t do my job without it.

I walk him to the door, longing to reach out and smooth the tension from his shoulders. “Take care of yourself, okay? Keep me posted on what the doc says.”

“Will do. Thanks again, Sydney.” DJ hesitates, then gives me one last piercing look before striding away down the hall.

I close the door and sag back against it, letting out a shaky breath. It’s only after I can no longer hear DJ’s footsteps that I let the tears come.

I bury myself in my work for the next few days, determined to be the best addiction counselor I can be. There’s no time to dwell on the smoldering, longing looks from DJ and Tyler that set my body on fire.

My patients need me focused and clear-headed. That’s the most important thing now.

I’m practically glued to Tomas’s side as we head to practice. “Remember, progress isn’t linear. Setbacks are a normal part of recovery.”

Tomas nods, jaw clenched. “I know. It’s just hard, seeing Mikey struggle like this.”

“You’re a good friend to him. He’s lucky to have your support.” I squeeze Tomas’s shoulder reassuringly before he takes the ice.

In the stands, I spot DJ stretching, his chiseled muscles rippling beneath his tight gear. Our eyes lock and electricity crackles between us. I flush and quickly glance away.

Not going there, I remind myself sternly.

The next few days pass in a stressful blur of therapy sessions and team meetings. I’m constantly on the move, coffee in hand, typing notes on my laptop.

“The urge to use can be so intense, like a tidal wave threatening to pull you under,” Jason confesses at a check-in, bouncing his leg anxiously. “I’m trying to ride it out, but man, it’s brutal.”

“You’re doing great, Jase. Those urges will pass. Let’s talk through some triggers...”

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