Page 69 of Pucking the Team

Lukas grins wolfishly and winks at me. “I’m game, sugar. The more the merrier in my bed.”

“Shut it, playboy,” Alex chides him, muscular arms crossed over his broad chest. His short black hair is messy as he runs his hands through it. “This is serious. If we’re going to make this work, we need to all be on the same page.”

“I agree,” Slade says, ever the responsible captain. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, fixing me with his intense gray-blue gaze. “Communication and trust will be key. We need complete transparency between all of us.”

I nod, feeling a swell of affection for Slade. I know this whole crazy situation was his idea initially, borne out of his desire to make everyone happy, bring his team truly together. What a teddy bear. A sexy, six-foot-something hockey playing teddy bear.

“Exactly,” I say. “Ryan and I can keep dating separately, if that’s what he wants.” I turn to look at him, hoping he can see the sincerity in my eyes. “But I don’t want to hide my connection with Slade, Lukas, and Alex from you anymore. I care about all of you so much. I want us to build something real, together.”

Ryan is quiet for a long moment, staring down at his hands. I can practically see the wheels turning behind those soulful brown eyes. Finally, he sighs and meets my gaze.

“Okay. I’m in. I want to make this work too, Em. And if this is the way I get to be with you, I’ll be a part of it.” He takes my hand, his thumb rubbing gentle circles over my skin. “I just have some questions…”

“Of course,” I encourage him, squeezing his hand. “Ask me anything.”

Ryan’s brow furrows again. God, he’s cute when he’s thinking hard. “How will we handle being in public together? Hockey isn’t exactly the most progressive sport. We’ll need to be discreet.”

"Pfft," Lukas snorts. “Just say we’re a bunch of bros being dudes. No one will question it.”

Alex shoots him a withering look. “I don’t think ‘being dudes’ usually involves five-ways, dumbass.”

Slade holds up a hand. “We can figure that out as we go. I’m sure if we’re careful, no one needs to know the specifics of our relationship.”

I nod in agreement, though part of me wants to shout my love for these incredible men from the rooftops. But the logical side of my brain knows we need to be smart about this. Damn heteronormative society and its judgy-ness.

“You’re right, we’ll be cautious,” I assure Ryan. “What else is on your mind, babe?”

Ryan chews on his unfairly kissable bottom lip. “I guess I’m worried about jealousy cropping up, or someone feeling neglected. How do we make sure everyone’s needs are being met?”

“By actually talking about our feelings?” Alex suggests drily. “Novel concept, I know.”

Lukas gasps in mock horror. “Feelings? What are those?”

I can’t help but laugh. These boys, I swear. “Alex is right. We have to be open and honest with each other, always. No bottling things up.”

Slade nods sagely. “And we should make time for each of our individual relationships, as well as group hangs. Keep things balanced.”

Ryan seems to be considering all this carefully. “Okay. That makes sense. But Em, I did want to share with you that I feel self-conscious about my…size. I don’t want to disappoint when we’re intimate. It’s been a tough thing for other partners.”

My stomach twists at his sincerity. “Oh, Ryan. You could never disappoint me. I happen to love the big dick energy you exude. Literally.”

That gets a startled laugh out of him, his eyes crinkling adorably at the corners. “Good to know. I’ll keep exuding it then.”

A thought occurs to me suddenly. “Oh, and what if someone decides they want to leave the polycule down the line? How do we handle that?”

Slade hums thoughtfully. “I suppose we’d have to respect their choice. It would hurt like hell, but we can’t force anyone to stay.”

“Exactly,” Alex agrees. “We’re all consenting adults here. If someone’s feelings change, we deal with it maturely.”

“Like the classy-ass polycule we are,” Lukas chimes in. He grins at me. “Face it, Ems. You’re stuck with us now. Better get used to this much hotness in your life.”

I lean into Ryan’s solid warmth beside me, looking around at my boys—my clever, kind goofballs. Damn, I’m lucky. “Oh, trust me, Lukas. I think I’ll manage just fine. Should we talk about sexual arrangements, then? Ryan, what are you thinking?”

He stiffens against me. “I think, for right now, I want to keep things between you and me. But…I’m really curious how things work with the rest of you.”

I can feel Ryan’s hesitation, his natural reserve warring with his curiosity. I give his hand another reassuring squeeze.

“Well,” I begin, glancing at the other guys. “Slade, Lukas, Alex, and I have been…exploring things physically. Usually in pairs, occasionally as a group.”

---