Page 42 of Pucking the Team

But Lukas shrugs him off, too keyed up to let it go. He takes another step towards Ryan, practically vibrating with anger. “Emma is with us,” he says pointedly, gesturing between himself and Alex. “So you can take your concern and shove it up your ass, Thompson.”

Oh god, oh god, this is spiraling out of control fast. The heart monitor beside my bed starts beeping more rapidly as my pulse pounds in my ears. I struggle to push myself up straighter against the pillows, determined to intercede before this testosterone-fueled standoff ends in thrown punches.

But before I can say a word, Ryan pins me with an intense, almost betrayed look. “Is that true, Emma? Are you with them?” he demands, something vulnerable flickering in his deep brown eyes.

I feel like I might pass out again as three pairs of eyes bore into me, waiting for an answer I’m terrified to give. My palms are slick with sweat, and I resist the urge to mess with my hair, a nervous tell.

Lukas and Alex already know about each other, but Ryan…I never meant for him to find out this way. Never meant to hurt him or make him feel betrayed. Especially not after what he’s been through.

I swallow hard, knowing there’s no escaping the truth now. It’s time to woman up and face the music, even if the song is my own guilty conscience. I take a deep, shuddery breath, looking at each of them in turn.

“Ryan, I…” My voice cracks. “There’s something I need to tell you. All of you.”

I take a shaky breath, my palms sweating. How did I let things get so messy? Lukas raises an eyebrow expectantly while Alex folds his muscular arms across his chest. I have to come clean.

“Ryan, Lukas, Alex…I’ve been seeing all of you. At the same time.” The words tumble out in a rush. “Ryan and I have started talking recently, and I really like him. But I also really like you two,” I say, looking at Lukas and Alex. “I’m so confused. More confused than I’ve ever been. I’m sorry, I should have been honest from the start. But I just…I don’t know what to do.”

The silence that follows is deafening, broken only by the accusing beep of the heart monitor and my stuttered breathing.

I search their faces for a reaction. Lukas runs a hand through his wavy blond hair, his jaw clenched tight. The usually playful gleam in his green eyes has vanished, replaced by a stony glare. Alex’s face remains impassive, but there’s a flicker of something—hurt? disappointment?—in his dark eyes.

But it’s Ryan’s reaction I’m most worried about. He stares at me for a long moment, jaw working, a myriad of emotions playing out across his face—shock, anger, confusion, hurt. He knew we weren’t exclusive, but I’d bet my choice of other partners has sent him into a tailspin. I feel pinned in place by the intensity of his gaze, simultaneously desperate for and dreading his response.

The oppressive silence stretches on, the steady beep of the heart monitor the only sound. What have I done? Have I ruined everything with my selfish indecision?

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them back. I’ve made my bed, now I have to lie in it. But god, I wish I knew what they were thinking right now. The suspense is killing me.

Lukas takes a deep breath. “I think we all need some time to process this. It’s a lot to take in.”

Alex nods in agreement, schooling his features into a neutral expression. “Lukas is right,” he says gently. “We should let you rest, Emma. We can talk about this later, when you’re feeling better.”

Ryan lingers, clearly reluctant to leave. He shoots me one last soulful look before turning to go, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

The door clicks shut behind them, leaving me alone with the weight of what I’ve done. What happens now? Can we move past this, or have I destroyed potentially the best thing in my life with my foolish indecision? Exhaustion washes over me, and I close my eyes, a single tear sliding down my cheek.

Please, I pray, please let this all work out somehow…

Hours later, I’m discharged from the hospital, feeling wrung out and empty. Selena’s waiting for me, her brow creased with worry as she takes in my blotchy face and red-rimmed eyes. She wraps an arm around my shoulders, guiding me to her car.

“Oh, honey,” she murmurs. “What happened?”

I collapse into the passenger seat, my breath hitching as I try to find the words. “I…I really messed up, Selena.”

As she pulls out of the parking lot, the whole sordid story pours out—how I’ve been seeing Lukas and Alex, but also started things up with Ryan.

How it all blew up in my face at the hospital.

Selena’s eyes widen. “Wait, hold up. You’re dating three hockey guys? At the same time?” She lets out a low whistle. “Damn, girl. I’m almost impressed.”

“It’s not funny!” I wail. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just…did. And now they all hate me.”

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Selena soothes. “I’m sure they don’t hate you. This is a lot for anyone to process.”

She’s quiet for a moment, considering. “Look, I know you, Em. You’re not some heartless player. If you have feelings for all of them, then that’s real. You need to give them time to wrap their heads around it.”

“You think so?” I sniffle. “I’m scared I ruined everything.”

“Those boys would be idiots to let you go.” Selena reaches over to squeeze my hand. “Just breathe. It’s going to be okay.”

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