Page 32 of One Day

Reid laughs. “I think anything with Bekah would fly. She’s his favorite.”

“You’re his favorite,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Yeah, well, I’m everyone’s favorite,” he jokes, shutting the book he’s holding and resting it against his thigh. “You doing okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’ve had a lot going on the last few days. Just checking in,” he says, looping his arm around my shoulder to let me lean on him.

“Things are weird, but I’m doing okay,” I say. “Things with Walker are…in an interesting state, but that’s my own doing.”

“You’re sure this is what you want?”

I nod my head, chewing on my bottom lip. “Yeah, it is,” I say, pulling my legs up to my chest. “It sounds insane, I know. Friends with benefits never work for anyone. It almost always ends in disaster, but I genuinely think if anyone will make it out, it’s Walker and me.”

He doesn’t say anything right away, and for a second, I think he won’t. Reid’s always been good at holding in the things people don’t want to hear. He keeps it hidden, except when it comes to me. Maybe it’s because we’ve been friends since the day I was born, only three short weeks after him, or because our souls were made to match each other, but he’s always let me in.

No matter what.

“What is it?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “It’s not important.”

“Reid, come on.” I nudge his side and twist, resting my knee gently against his side with his arms still around my shoulder. “This is me you’re talking to. You don’t have to keep all those thoughts locked up.”

“What happens if this doesn’t work? If you’re not the one to make it through. What if things go downhill and fall apart?” he questions, and my stomach knots tightly.

I have so heavily convinced myself that we will be the ones to make it that I didn’t slow down enough to question what happens if we aren’t. If things do go up in flames and things get messy.

The fear creeping in for a second quickly replaces with the excitement in Walker’s eyes tonight before I walked away. That one look sends me back into my safe space.

We are the ones. I know we are.

“We aren’t going to fall apart.”

He presses his lips together in a way that tells me he’s about to pull back but then thinks better of it. “You don’t know that for sure. There’s the possibility this doesn’t go the way you think it will, and I don’t want you getting hurt. He means a lot to you. I see the way you light up at the mere mention of him. He’s not just a random person, Sunny. You’ll be a mess if something goes wrong, and I don’t want that for you.”

I smile at his words, knowing he’s speaking from experience. It’s part of what’s clouding his worry right now. His heart still beats with a fracture. “I appreciate you looking out for me, Reid. I love you for it, but I need you to trust I know what I’m doing. When and if I decide to do it. The ball isn’t in my court anymore. I know what I want, and I told him. It’s his decision to make now, and maybe,” I pause, not wanting to voice his wariness—to make it real, but I have to. “Maybe we aren’t the ones who make it out of this unscathed, but you have to let me make that decision and then help me pick myself up.”

He nods before leaning over and pressing his lips to the side of my head. “I do trust you, and I’m always going to be here. No matter what.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says, squeezing my arm before standing up “I’m going to head to bed. You turning in soon?”

I nod, wrapping my arms around my legs with a small sigh. “I’ll be up in a bit.”

“Okay, goodnight.”

“Night,” I say, a small smile crossing my lips.

The moment he’s gone, and the creak of the stairs fades, I let everything settle in the dust around me. I have never been one to run from what I am feeling. I’ve always faced it head-on. Bottling things up has never worked out, not for me or anyone else.

I have prided myself on how honest I am with myself, but the reality is nothing will ever make me admit there’s a heavy disappointment resting on my chest. Maybe it’s a sign Walker made the right decision to walk away from me tonight, but it doesn’t make it any less there.

I still feel it. I saw it on Reid’s face just now.

He was looking at me like I’m fragile, and I’m not. I know I’ll be fine. Walker and I will bounce back from whatever decision he makes. It’s the only option we have because living without him in my life isn’t one.

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