CAL: Because, one, I wouldn’t mind it. And, two, I wish I was there so I could see your face when I piss you off.
LAYNEE: You’ve seen it enough. Imagine it.
CAL: I do. More than you know.
CAL: But no secret baby. You know that thing wouldn’t be alive if it was with me. I could barely take care of a goldfish.
LAYNEE: You could barely take care of yourself.
CAL: I’m surprised I’m even still alive. How’s school? Did you graduate yet?
LAYNEE: LOL, no. I think I'm going to take a break from all that for a while.
CAL: Why am I sensing you're upset with that? What's wrong?
LAYNEE: I got a dog.
CAL: Is it sick?
LAYNEE: No. He’s perfect.
CAL: Ah, you're having trouble with the name.
LAYNEE: Yeah.
CAL: What kind of dog?
One that's not going to be mine for another five minutes.
LAYNEE: A Pembroke Welsh Corgi.
CAL: A what, now?
LAYNEE: The Queen of England has only had a million of them.
CAL: And you act like I should know this because…?
LAYNEE: They’re stouty little things.
CAL: Since when do you like small dogs?
LAYNEE: I like all kinds of dogs.
CAL: You only dodged that old lady’s up the street every time you had to pass her house up at the cabins.
LAYNEE: Because he bit people, Cal. I wasn’t looking to have my hand taken off.
CAL: Charlie Brown kick his ass across the yard. I guarantee it’ll never try to bite you again.
LAYNEE: CAL! Can we say animal cruelty?
CAL: He attempted to assault first.
LAYNEE: It’s a dog.
CAL: That was going to learn a very valuable lesson.
CAL: I also got a song I heard for you.