Page 85 of Crazy for this Girl

CAL: Because, one, I wouldn’t mind it. And, two, I wish I was there so I could see your face when I piss you off.

LAYNEE: You’ve seen it enough. Imagine it.

CAL: I do. More than you know.

CAL: But no secret baby. You know that thing wouldn’t be alive if it was with me. I could barely take care of a goldfish.

LAYNEE: You could barely take care of yourself.

CAL: I’m surprised I’m even still alive. How’s school? Did you graduate yet?

LAYNEE: LOL, no. I think I'm going to take a break from all that for a while.

CAL: Why am I sensing you're upset with that? What's wrong?

LAYNEE: I got a dog.

CAL: Is it sick?

LAYNEE: No. He’s perfect.

CAL: Ah, you're having trouble with the name.

LAYNEE: Yeah.

CAL: What kind of dog?

One that's not going to be mine for another five minutes.

LAYNEE: A Pembroke Welsh Corgi.

CAL: A what, now?

LAYNEE: The Queen of England has only had a million of them.

CAL: And you act like I should know this because…?

LAYNEE: They’re stouty little things.

CAL: Since when do you like small dogs?

LAYNEE: I like all kinds of dogs.

CAL: You only dodged that old lady’s up the street every time you had to pass her house up at the cabins.

LAYNEE: Because he bit people, Cal. I wasn’t looking to have my hand taken off.

CAL: Charlie Brown kick his ass across the yard. I guarantee it’ll never try to bite you again.

LAYNEE: CAL! Can we say animal cruelty?

CAL: He attempted to assault first.

LAYNEE: It’s a dog.

CAL: That was going to learn a very valuable lesson.

CAL: I also got a song I heard for you.