Page 54 of Crazy for this Girl

The wet tip of his tongue traces along the seams of my mouth, and it automatically opens for him, a deep moan escaping his lips and falling right between my legs.

I want him there. I want his fingers to touch me so I can release the built-up pressure that’s always there when he touches me. I’ve done it once myself, reading a romance novel that was a little dirtier than my normal, but this is so much different.

Hannah tells me that an orgasm is unlike anything she can describe, but like falling. Crashing into something but feeling no pain, only sweet relief to want to do it again over and over again.

And with Cal, I do.

I’ll never have this moment again, but I’ll be sure to burn it to memory. I’ll watch him date, get married, and have children while I do the same with someone that’ll always be second place to me.

That alone is depressing enough. However, I’ll never forget it for the rest of my life.

Cal kisses me like he can’t stand not to. The pads of his fingers hold me hostage around my skull, forbidding me to move.

That ten seconds isn’t enough.

That us just being friends isn’t enough.

Hallie’s shrewd shrill announces that she found us, but Cal doesn’t break away from me at first. I’m not sure if he’s locked in the moment with me, never wanting it to end, or if he’s making sure he makes a point with his now ex-girlfriend.

Either way, if karma does come back to bite me in the butt, this was all worth it.

One moment with Cal is worth a million things to come my way because this is all I’ll ever want.

Him.

“She keeps calling?” Cal looks up from his phone and rolls his pretty green eyes before nodding. Hallie left the cabin almost three weeks ago and Cal has been ignoring her calls ever since. They’ve gotten into several texting fights, and I saved his phone the other day from him chucking it into the lake.

As the time rolls on, though, I feel bad for agreeing to kiss Cal just to shove Hallie away. I can’t imagine seeing that after your boyfriend wanted to break up with you.

And while I waited for lightning to strike me down for the role I played, I still don’t completely regret it.

“You ready for Coheed and Cambria?” he asks, his expression lighter now that he pockets his phone away.

“Yeah,” I deadpan, still ping-ponging so many things in my brain.

We kissed.

He pressed his lips against mine, and when I agreed to help him get Hallie back home, I didn’t think he’d use his tongue.

His tongue that I go to bed thinking about and how he owned my mouth like I was his girlfriend and he couldn’t get enough.

My God, I’m such a loser.

It was an act, a really bad ploy. Cal kept his word, and nothing changed with him and everything afterward. We still listen to music and eat every five minutes. We speak about nothing at all, but I’ve felt something shift to the point of nervousness and fear that I am never going to be able to let it go.

I already have a crush on Cal, that much was evident. However, I know the line. I painted the dang thing black so I wouldn’t miss it and start acting weird.

But I was and am acting weird.

Cal has asked me several times over the course of a few days if something is wrong, and, of course, I denied it.

Thankfully, he hasn’t called out “blue” for me to confess, and even then, I think I’d still stick to my story. I can’t erase what happened no matter how many times I try, because what’s normal?

I’m just terrified that something will occur that will rip us to shreds for what I’ve done.

“Hungry?” I refocus on Cal and his insatiable appetite already honed in on a food stand.

I don’t even argue with him about how we ate less than thirty minutes ago, needing to gain my bearings back and fall into best-friend mode again.

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