Page 152 of Crazy for this Girl

Cal battles and compels me to give him everything in this kiss. His teeth sink into my bottom lip, drawing his teeth down on my soft flesh before coming back for more.

I should stop this.

I should ask what he meant when he told my mother that he thought about dropping Grand Regent because he wasn’t with the person he wanted to be with since day one.

That has to be me, right? I’m not so far gone that I’m imagining myself being placed in scenarios?

But he’s my boss. Handing me over a large salary that’ll handle all my financial problems and Jonah’s. That’s about to get me out of my apartment and into somewhere decent, where my roommate doesn’t pry into my conversations every two seconds.

Two years.

Then what?

Breaking our kiss, Cal doesn’t move away from me. Our heavy breathing mixes together in a flurry of what we’ve just done. What I’ve always wanted to have happen again.

His warm forehead flattens into mine, and I close my eyes, deeply breathing him in as if he’s going to disappear again.

Cedarwood, like at the cabin, with a hint of patchouli.

“We’re going to stop this,” he grounds out through my closed eyes. “You’re going to stop running from me and being scared about what I’m going to say. And I’m going to stop being terrified that you’ll leave me for good after the shit I have to tell you. I’m not the Cal you remember, Laynee, I’m so much worse. This job keeps the demons away, or I would’ve come for you years ago. I would’ve made you mine. You need to know…everything before you pass another judgment on me. I’ve given you space, I let you rummage through me being back in your life now. I’ve been patient. But now I’m past it, got it?”

I swallow past the forming lump in my throat. “Then why did you leave, Cal? Please...tell me. What did I do wrong?”

He doesn’t answer right away and my eyes open to find his expression painted with pain as he gapes at me.

I can see his mind going a mile a minute.

Something happened, I can feel it.

Something really bad.

“Laynee…” His voice breaks, and he bows his head as if embarrassed or ashamed. It actually kills me to see him like this. That he doesn’t feel like, for some reason, he can tell me.

“You said you wanted to talk, Cal,” I mutter softly, reaching out to cup the side of his face. “I’m right here.”

“I know. I just…” He nestles his face in my palm, searching for comfort, but I hear the heavy exhale leave his lips and the unyielding battle in his head. “I promise you...you’ll know everything. I just need to get through today. I need us...not here. I fucking hate this place because he kept you from me again. His name is painted all over these walls and...he literally fucked my whole fucking life again. I swear to fucking God if he wasn’t dead, I’d kill him myself. I’d strangle—”

“Cal.” My heart slams frenziedly in my chest at the amount of untainted fury in his tone. The way he begins to shake uncontrollably as if he’s going to break at any minute. “Tell me later.”

“Yeah…” He scoffs as if not sold on him being able to tell it, and turns his face to press a soft kiss at the inside of my palm. It sets another blaze of want through my belly.

And, God help me, I want Cal Harper.

But my brain will not allow my heart to get too close to him again.

“You’re gonna run, Reese. You always ran when there was something you didn’t want to hear.”

“I won’t.” I brush my thumb over the rough patch of facial hair along his cheek. Another few days of the unknown aren’t going to kill me, right? “I’m obviously not going anywhere, you’ll sue me.”

He half tsks, half chuckles, and shakes his head. “I have to pull the big guns out with you. You weren’t going to stay if I hadn’t. I’m not stupid.”

“Probably.”

“See.” He lifts his head slightly and his lips are only, but a tempting inch away. “That’s how big of a piece of shit I am. I have you…and I can’t let you go.”

“We might be able to be friends, but—”

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves,” he imparts, and something transforms over his face, back to what it was before all this—collected and calm.

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