Page 15 of Crazy for this Girl

However, we don’t need you at the bottom of the pyramid, dropping girls and shit. You can still make a poster for me and hold it up at your school football games, though. If someone asks you who I am, just tell them it’s someone they’re never going to be able to compete with as your best friend.

Are you going to homecoming? There’s this girl in my math class named Ashley that is kinda cute that I might ask. They do have those in North Carolina, right? Or do you guys get together in a barn and have a hoedown?

Serious question—sorta.

As always, there’s another amazing list of song titles for you to check out on the back of this.

Also, tell me a German word. I need to make sure you stay on your studies so you can be smart when you grow up. I’ll feel slightly responsible if I don’t encourage you to stay focused.

Be fearless, Tone Deaf.

Beach Boy, AKA Cal

P.S. I play One Step Closer every night before I go to bed.

Dear Cal,

I live in North Carolina, not in the middle of a cow field. Those are your school colors, though, right? Black and white.

Butthead.

Also, I made the volleyball team. I never thought I’d try out for a sport, but it’s getting me out of the house, so Mom stops wanting to talk to me about boys and peer pressure. You should hear the way her voice is when she brings me your letters. I don’t know how many times I have had to explain to her that we’re just friends.

I can’t wait to go to Switzerland now.

I actually picked up a book at the library about the city of Lucerne. It’s absolutely beautiful. It’s a car-free medieval town that has waterfront walkways and covered bridges. The summer months look like a dream. I’ll send you a postcard.

But to answer your stupid question —yes, we have homecoming, and no, I didn’t go. Also, I said I like music, not that I knew how to dance. I know that I look like a dying dog or a malfunctioning robot. It’s not a pretty moment, but I do know how to do the YMCA.

Hallo means hello in German, so there you go. No need to worry about my schooling, Beach Butt, I’ve been on the Honor Roll since I could ever get on it. I plan on being valedictorian when I graduate.

I’ll keep you updated.

Let me know if you asked Ashley out and if you had fun. I want pictures if you took them.

Your non-coordinated friend,

Laynee

P.S. Yellow by Coldplay, listen to it.

Dear Tone Deaf (start signing your letters right),

Sorry that I didn’t write sooner, football practice has been kicking my butt and I practically pass out when I get home. Coach wants me to gain some more weight, but I keep losing with all the drills they’re having us do.

We lost our first three games, and now our coaches have been making our lives a living hell. I’m barely keeping up with schoolwork and projects, which Dad is going to freak if I don’t get into a good college. (I don’t want to go to college.)

I didn’t go to homecoming either. I was too tired to go, and I think Ashley ended up going with someone else. Really, all I’ve been focused on is football and keeping up with school.

Sorry to hear about your mom. It must be my good looks and charm that scares her. I’ll try to ease up on it next summer. Unless you have a ton of guys showing up on your doorstep, then that’s a negative, and I’ll need to teach you how to swing a baseball bat.

God, that next summer sounds so far away now.

I started to date a girl in my English class, her name is Amber. She’s smart, and get this, she’s like, a hardcore Monopoly player. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a person go so hard on a board game in my life.

Enclosed is a picture of me in my football uniform, #23. I figured you could show the guys that you don’t want to date so they can leave you alone.

Are there any guys or girls you like? We never talked about if you played for one team or both. Actually, we never talked about what you liked in people besides me, which is everything.

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