I can’t deal with walking on eggshells around her anymore. I told her I loved her, and I still mean it.
“I fucked up, Laynee. I never wanted to stop us,” I dig my nails into my palms to keep my composure calm. Anger begins boiling in my veins every time I have to think back about all that’s happened. “It was never a plan for me. I didn’t get to choose, and when I did, I chose wrong.”
“Cal, please—”
“Shut up, Laynee.” I ball my hands into tighter fists because I’m not used to doing this. I’m not vulnerable anymore, I’m just broken. Every day away from Laynee was lonely, agonizing, and excruciating. I relied on her more than I believed I did, and when I dreamt of a life with her just for it to shatter within hours, my strength quickly faded.
However, one thing coming from her lips to stop what I was doing, abandon my family, and run away with her, I would’ve done it.
In a second.
There would’ve been no double-guessing myself at the time. I would’ve done anything for Laynee. Regardless of the guilt I would’ve felt for deserting my family’s problems, and, you know, the U.S. Government, if I was still in the Marines.
“Did you miss me at all? Did you think about me every time you had something we used to talk about? You have no idea how much I wish I could change things, Laynee. You were always there, in the forefront of my mind. You were never a fleeting thought.”
“I would text you,” she counters, her blues transforming into pain-filled slits. “And you’d take weeks to reply. Any crisis I was having was already over by then.” She starts to round my body for the door, slicing her hand through the air like it’s going to magically dismiss our past. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
My hand grips her forearm, and she immediately stops on a dime at my touch.
I’m not totally fucking stupid.
I affect her like she impacts me. There’s no way that we met up again just by chance. That she coincidentally works under me.
This is fate.
My second chance.
My way to get into her life, her heart, and her beautiful soul.
“You’re avoiding is only going to get me to act more reckless, Laynee. And you remember that time I screamed at the top of my lungs at the rental house down the street for no reason at all, but only to scare the shit out of the tourists.”
“You’re stupid,” she whispers. “And I…”
“You, what?”
“I’m going to need time to swallow that.” She tucks her chin into her chest and tries to steady her breathing. “It’s been too much, for too long. You came into my life unexpectedly. I’m still adjusting to seeing your face every day.”
“And is it such a bad face to look at?” Laynee peers up glares at me, and I only smirk. “I’m going to take that as a no.”
“You would.”
“I don’t mind you denying it. In fact, it’s the best fucking part of my day. You’ve only grown to be more beautiful and annoying.”
“Quit blowing smoke up my ass,” she snaps through a scoff. “Can we go now?”
“I have still yet to receive an answer to one of my questions.”
“Personal life, remember? You stay out of it.”
“Am I that personal to you that you can’t answer?” I don’t hide the appreciation I have for that. “Fair enough. I’ll rephrase my questions later.”
Laynee ignores me and glances down at my hand still wrapped around her arm. “You gonna let go now?”
I lean over, visibly inhaling her floral, citrus scent and mutter back, “I’m never letting you go. But I’ll let your arm go.” I slowly release her from my hold, and straighten my spine. Laynee, on the other hand, just stares at me like I’ve grown a second head. “I’m ready when you are. I wouldn’t miss this reunion for the world.”
Laynee’s brows furrow wearily. “Why?”
“I haven’t forgotten how much your mom hated me.”