Page 14 of Crazy for this Girl

Dear Laynee,

I’m gonna need you to get your ears checked. They’re not that good of a band, if you’d even call them that. I bet you not one of those dudes know how to play a musical instrument. So, I’ve attached a list of songs to check out because not only are you going to need to keep up, but I can’t have your head clouded with crap.

(Let me know what you think. I expect a full report.)

I guess I can see why you wouldn’t want to try out for the cheerleading squad. You have no rhythm, and I’ve seen you try to dance before when you thought I wasn’t looking. You looked like you were having a seizure. I almost called 911, but you suddenly stopped and acted normal, so I thought all was good.

I made the football team, and my dad seems to be more excited about it than I am. They’ve been killing us with practices and drills. I’m exhausted but it keeps a good rep with the ladies.

Nice try on the Switzerland thing, by the way. Don’t spit on the kid in front of you when you’re trying to learn that German stuff. It sounds like a lot of hacking.

Thanks for the pictures, too, by the way. I only drew one heart around your face and put a bunch of candles around it. Kinda like a shrine. I got the boys on the team already asking me if you’re my girlfriend because I had a shirt made up, too, that says Property of Laynee on it.

I look great in it, by the way.

The girls aren’t too thrilled about it, though.

Write me soon,

Cal AKA your best friend

AKA Beach Boy

Dear Cal,

Calm down, killer.

You’re on the JV football team. Nothing to brag about yet, but keep practicing. You’ll get there. Maybe they’ll make a cheer about you or something.

Your mom must’ve loved you stealing her lavender Yankee Candles because I highly doubt that’s your favorite. If it were pepperoni-scented than that may be a different story.

(You’re insane.)

Meanwhile, I flaked/purposely did horrible at cheerleading tryouts with Hannah. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I’m not looking to be part of the popular squad with a bunch of snotty girls who think they’re better than everyone else.

You know, the girls you’re trying to impress over there.

I really liked the songs you sent over. I think One Step Closer by Linkin Park may have been my favorite, however, you can keep Sum 41. They didn’t do it for me. I could just see them in their Jenko jeans with bleached blonde hair, and, yeah, no.

I think you also jinxed me in my German class because I’m horrible at it, thanks, jerk. How else am I supposed to subtly get away from you if I can’t speak it? I may just need to save up for that translator.

Burn the shirt, by the way. You don't want people to think you’re the kid with a screw loose like I mentioned earlier in this letter. I mean, you do, but I’ll keep your secret until you go pro in football and then I’m going to blackmail you with this letter for a few million.

Good luck with football,

The most awesome friend in the world

P.S. — Don’t think of me every time you hear One Step Closer. We don’t need you crying over how much you miss me.

Dear Tone Deaf,

I cried.

It was so bad that they brought me down to the principal’s office and I got a free mental health day off a school. Thanks for that.

All cheerleaders aren’t so bad.

I mean, most are.

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