Page 220 of Deceit

“Not much,” I deadpan. “But you should thank me, you weren’t turned in to the police.” That turns his sorrowful facade into a serious one.

There he is.

He straightens his spine, somber now that I’m not feeding into his bullshit and the cops are the last thing he wants sniffing around his ass with his shotty dealings.

“What are you doing here, Emmy? You’re clearly still pissed.”

“Shouldn’t I be?”

He pushes his cheek out with his tongue and nods. “Yes, you have every right to be.” His eyes bore into mine as if to convince me to believe him. “And I’ll do anything to fix it, Emmy. Tell me how.”

My forehead puckers. “Fix it? How would you do that? You said you loved me, and the next, you’re stabbing me multiple times. You almost…” I release a heavy and choked exhale, placing my palm over my heart as if this is extremely hard for me to speak about, and it is.

But not to this level. I wouldn’t allow myself to.

I’m afraid to get there and how deeply it’ll affect me if I ponder and let it sink in.

This is all for Alexander’s sake. And all I want to do is give Bishop the go-ahead to use one of his choice weapons on him right now.

“Anything,” my ex croons. “Whatever you want.”

I snort through my nose. “So if I told you to quit your job, you would?”

Alexander shifts in his chair. “It’d take more than me walking into the office and tell everyone that but…yes.”

“I don’t believe you.” I lean back in my chair with a thump. “You’re selfish and—“

“Keep going. Give me something else.”

“Time. I need time.”

He bobs his head. “Okay, sure, time. I get it.” He lowers his voice, gripping the coffee cup that he orders, and holds my stare. “Emmy, I love you, I swear. I fucked up.”

“If you’re scared I’m going to go to the pigs now, Alexander, you needn’t—“

“No.” He lowers his chin into his chest and rubs the back of his neck. He says that because he can pay them off. “I want a clean slate.”

“And what makes you think I should give you one?”

“Because I’ll give you anything you want. Because I made one mistake, a grave one yes, but I was stressed out and…Emmy, I’m so sorry. I swear to fucking God, I think about it every day.”

I want to flip the table over and pin him to the floor with it.

I want to jump on it a few times for extra measure too.

I want to plow my fist into his face and watch blood leave it while I think of the last month of my hiding like a fugitive.

How I’ve had zero time with my kids.

How I have no relationship with them.

How I haven’t even been able to bring them home yet.

“I stilldon’tbelieve you,” I leer, my blood boiling in my veins. I’ve never hated someone so much in my life as I do him. “You’ve shown your true colors. I’m not going to be with—“ That must set Alexander off the deep end of guilty because he’s on his feet and round my table, exposing Bishop doing the same, waiting for Alexander to make a stupid move.

I form a quick motion downward with my fingers for Bishop to sit down when Alexander towers over me at my side.

“Come with me,” he says desperately. “Somewhere that—“

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