Page 141 of Deceit

When Bishop asked me to marry him, I thought he’d open up to me. That maybe one day, he wouldn’t be so closed off to show me that I was everything he wanted.

I won’t do the same thing with kids and Alexander.

In fact, I’ll never do it again.

“I told you I wouldn’t,” he emits, squeezing my hand to make his point. “I know you’ve just gotten out of a complicated relationship but I—“

“It’s not all that,” I retort. “It’s the simple matter that I might not be carrying your children. You honestly can say that won’t bother you? That you want to take care of my ex-husband’s kids?”

“I love—“

“But is that enough?” I glance down at our joined hands. “You love me but my kids come with me. You don’t know how you will feel if that becomes the case, Alex. I’m sorry but I don’t want to put us both in a difficult situation. I need to be able to give you a clean break.”

Alexander glowers at me. His dark eyes burning holes into my face as his nostrils flare in disdain. “You’re serious? I’m not fucked up in the head. I’m a man, I know what I want. I’ve thought about this, leaving you behind. Shit, you were married before.”

“I technically still am.” I remove myself from his grip, still feeling the welcoming warmth from his hands. “And you might be a man but you’re neglecting the truth. I can’t have you regret me. I won’t be able to move on with you if you do. I’m not doing it again. Been there done fucking that.”

“You’re keeping us at a standstill until you know if they’re my kids?”

“From moving out of this condo, yes.”

He shrugs and rises from my bed. “Then I’ll just fucking buy a house, and when those kids are born, mine or not, I’ll have a place set up for us.”

“Alex—“

“No, Emmy, this ismychoice. You just don’t believe me.”

“Because it’s fucked up,” I seize out, placing my palm onto my stomach that is beginning to knot from the reality of our relationship.

“You’ll see…” He walks backward out of my room. “Then when I show you that I’ll love all three of you the same, you’re gonna marry me, Emmy Lou Rhodes. Because I’d fucking do anything for you. End of story.”

Then he storms out, slams the front door of my place, and doesn’t come back with dinner.

Gathered around the rectangular table with all my loved ones, B723 sits with myself and Alexander drinking cocktails and straight shots.

Stormi came to visit, her stomach twice as big as the last time I saw her and she looks stunning. She kisses my cheek and begs for us to catch up.

Of course, I agree.

She’s the closest thing to understanding all the hormones and worries that comes from being pregnant for the first time.

Stormi will be an amazing mother, but for me, on the other hand, I’m still conflicted. Meanwhile, Alexander would be just as good as Marty with being a father.

Our fight a few weeks ago has simmered, but it still leaves a bad taste in our relationship when he tiptoes around where the babies are going to sleep.

I think I cut him deeper with my words than I intended, but I’d rather hurt him now with the truth than both of us when our lives may be turned upside down.

Ledger places a hand on top of mine, the closest thing I have to a parent these days, and seizes my attention. The wrinkles on his face lift into a smile and he looks at me lovingly as he leans in closer.

“It’s okay to be scared, Em,” he mutters close to me. “This particular mission is going to evolve your life, but it’s rewarding. My children do for me every day.”

“You have kids? I’ve never heard you mention them.”

“They’re a pain in the ass.” He chuckles then rubs the pad of his thumb along my skin in comfort. “It’s going to be alright. You have all of us. You will always have all of us.”

My eyes flick down the table.

Kyson.

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