Page 76 of Deceit

I wait for her to come to me.

But stubbornness is a big hurdle that both of us have yet to jump. She won’t open up to me anymore because I hurt her. She’s locked her emotions away without a key.

She cemented the damn shit.

The moment Emmy can’t see anything anymore, she suddenly spins and walks past me, not bothering to utter a single word to explain herself.

I follow.

I trail behind because I’m still registering what the hell happened. What she’s doing and how she started this shit.

“Emmy.” My voice is stern and pregnant with a need for a conversation which is surprising because usually, I’d rather not have them at all.

She slows down then turns, cocking that beautiful face to the side, and my eyes scan over her features, looking for blood or bruises. “Yes?”

I erase the space in the middle of us, using the sparse lighting of the porch to get a good look at her, but it’s useless and ineffective.

“What are you doing?”

“I was fighting,” she drones. “What did it look like I was doing?”

“Do I really need to ask why so you fill me in on the details?”

She lifts her shoulders. “No, I found out who she was. I learned that she was your high school sweetheart, that she lived here, and that she got hooked on cocaine, and I filled in the rest of the blanks myself. She’s more than likely the reason why you’re so shut off. Some of the reasons why you and I didn’t and don’t work. You don’t get close to anything besides Kyson because he’s familiar and safe.”

She takes a deep breath, her body moving along with it as she raises a hand to her temple and begins to rub it.

“And I don’t give a fuck if you’re mad,” she continues flatly while her tone remains gentle. “I don’t give a shit if you think I’m an overbearing brat with a need to get into everyone’s business. That’s what I do. I overstep, hack and violate people’s lives. I’m good at it. It’s why I’m here.”

I stare at her, and for once, I got nothing to say.

Everything she just called me out on are facts. Brutal and ugly truths that made me into who I am today.

“She’s a problem.” I open my mouth to tell her she’d not, especially when Emmy destroyed a love that isn’t anymore between myself and my ex. That Em is all that I want, but she continues. “One that was never solved. One that you might not ever face. However…since I’m on a fucking roll here, I took the liberty of shedding some light on how badly she fucked up with you. That herstilldrug problem isn’t something that she needs to bring in your life, so you have to start making decisions and relive the things I can only imagine that she put you through.”

“Just stay out of it, Ems,” I say through my taut jaw. I’m not mad at her. I just don’t want her to waste her damn time as I had. “She’s nothing. And I don’t want you—“

“Too late.” My nostrils expand, but I don’t make a move to grab her.

No, I don’t trust myself enough.

“Emmy, stop. Let it go,please.”

“I wish…” Her honey irises glimmer with sadness. “I wish you would’ve told me. I wish you would’ve trusted me.”

Shame fills my brain because I do, and I don’t.

At the end of the day, I do because Emmy is my partner in B723, but I don’t because she has the power to devastate me.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I mutter because it’s too late. “It all comes down to the same thing.”

“As in?”

I scoff. She doesn’t want me to relive shit in the past. “Forget it.”

“And here we go—“ She folds her arms defensively over her chest. “—you wanna say something, but you’re too much of a chicken shit to tell me how you truly feel.”

“Why is that such a thing for you? Why do you always feel a need to fix me? Are you that fucking bored, Emmy? Maybe I should’ve divorced you so you could go bother someone else.”

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