“Emmy…” I peer down at him, finding that his expression has softened a tad, but it does nothing because he can flick his crazy back on at any given moment.
“What?”
“You promised.” His tone is gentle and almost pained as he stares up at me with a defeated look.
I did promise.
I told him I’d take care of myself and the babies. That I’d be happy.
But how can you go to someone who broke your heart and expect them to help with other things? How could I trust that?
He’s never hurt you any other way before other than the one you wanted him to delve in—my heart.
“I can’t take back what I did,” I emit. “I did it to protect my children and me. You never would’ve let me do it. Your ass would’ve been in the car and raced into God knows what at the time. You’ve seen what’s around him. Alexander is no dummy.”
“Maybe. But you have ways of calming me down.”
“You weren’t there.”
“Because you called Mills.”
“We weren’t talking anymore, and you were avoiding me. I didn’t—“
“I would’ve never of abandoned you, Emmy.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” My jaw twitches from the beginnings of a forming sob. “He was my best bet. The one that I wouldn’t have to argue with the longest. I was kinda bleeding to death and shit. I had kids to get out of me.”
“You didn’t give me a chance.”
“I gave you plenty of chances in my life,” I counter, steeling those words into my brain so I don’t feel so bad. “All I did was lay myself out there for you to trample on and you did. Maybe not intentionally, but I needed a guarantee, and Mills was it.”
“Are you going to hold that against me for the rest of my life?” His fingers splay against my back, and I’m not sure if he notices, but he’s brushing my spine in slow and gentle movements.
“Yes—maybe. I haven’t thought about it, I’ve been too busy. I didn’t want you getting hurt, and I had a lot on my plate. Trust me when I say…I don’t know how I would do it if it happened to me again.”
“Again?” he repeats. “As in, you getting pregnant again and the father trying to kill you?”
“Figure of speech, Bish, keep up.”
He snorts through his nose like a snob. “I wouldn’t say we’re even by a long shot, but the shit you just pulled are the things I’ve had to deal with. I can’t tell if you’re fucking insane or just plain evasive with someone telling you it’s a bad idea, don’t do it.”
“Maybe both.”
“Emmy, you’re different, always have been. Always will be. You’re better than all of us. Then you died and we all suffered. I almost killed Mills because—“
“I know,” I reply. “I handled that.”
His blues narrow on me. “You sent that guy after me?”
“Yep.”
“HeshotArmageddon.”
My eyes expand. “What?”
“Grazed him but—“ I reach behind me to pull out my cell. Kai never fucking told me that he hit Bishop’s dog and he was with me for at least an hour. More than enough time to tell me.
“Who was the guy?” Bishop asks, capturing my forearm to keep me from my phone.