Page 139 of Deceit

Then on the day I began adding another pair of everything to my baby list, Bishop emailed me back the divorce papers—signed and dated.

My heart sunk.

I couldn’t help it, and I haven’t been able to lift it since. It’s what I asked for, what I wanted in the midst of being pissed off and jealous about Camilla.

I’ve fought with myself over and over to come clean and admit to him that I’m not sure if these, now, kids are his or not.

That I lied right to his face, which wasn’t entirely what I was afraid of.

It’s the fact that he couldn’t love all three of us which frightened me.

If Bishop could handle it.

I thought of the kids and the stories they’d tell their friends. I didn’t want one of those to involve their father in and out of their lives because he’s so closed off from love.

I also don’t know what I’m going to do with Alexander. Who has been with me every step of the way since he found the pregnancy test. He claims he’ll love my kids—his or not—either way, I can’t say I believe him.

However, he’s shown me nothing different, except I’m paranoid and torn on how to approach it when the babies are born and I can have the DNA test done.

Alexander is on a whole other level of ready for these kids. He’s hysterical with excitement. There’s also a list of very moderate rules that he wants me to abide by, but they're all ridiculous and unnecessary.

Like how I’m only allowed to carry two grocery bags at one time. How Alexander is always lifting my purse to make sure it’s not too heavy or that I’m eating enough.

Sure, it’s essential to feed my squishies. It’s just hard.

Alexander’s overly consummated amount of worrying and caring is sweet. Still, I didn’t know I would be the newest charity case around here.

The boys of B723 are just as bad, if not worse.

I’m watched like a bird when I walk, talk, eat, snack, type, breathe, and blink. The only one that doesn’t coddle me like I’m a fragile piece of China glass—other than Bishop because he is avoiding me—is Blue.

And as much as I’d lovenotto speak to her, she’s the mere individual that doesn’t bother the fuck out of me at the moment.

When the second fam found out I was having twins, they acted as if it’s never been done before. That no one on this Earth has given birth to more than one baby at the same time.

That’s when B723 and Alexander took it a step further.

They’re the reason I’ve gained more weight than expected because they won’t allow me to get up to do anything for myself unless it’s to pee.

I’m supposed to be focused on nesting and a new wave of responsibility but nothing feels right for obvious reasons. That, and my mother wants me to come home so she can throw me an alleged baby shower.

She can shove it up her ass.

“Emmy!” Alexander hollers from my kitchen. “If you’re still on that laptop, your time is up!”

I roll my eyes and keep typing away at the only assignments Ledger will allow me to do—hacking into people’s illegal shit. “Okay!”

“Dinner will be ready in a few!”

“Okay!”

“Emmy,” he says, his voice deeper in a warning because he knows damn well that my laptop has not closed.

Besides the food cravings and being treated like a pregnant woman who can’t do anything on her own, Alexander has limited me to work after what he thinks are regular business hours.

I obviously don’t have those.

It’s bad enough that I can’t sleep on my left side, and climbing the stairs to get inside my condo causes me to run out of breath, but I also have to be bound to a time limit like a teenager.

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