Page 86 of Bona Fide

Plain and simple.

I force a grin to form off my lips, but I know it falls short because I don't feel it. I don't feel happy at this moment, but I am grateful that I'm standing in front of the woman I love today without her screaming at me.

“The first and probably the last time, I made you speechless.”

Reagan cracks a similar grin and clasps on to one of my hands, giving it a small squeeze. “I’m sorry it’s come to this. That...I can’t fully belong to you or forget this. That you need support and...I’m not sure I can get there when she’s around. I understand that she’s done things, I just can’t be involved when she’s already…”

“I get it,” I reply even though I don’t like anything about her answer. “I’ll get going and get back—” She tugs on my hand.

“No...you can stay—for tonight. But after…”

After, everything goes back to what it used to be. Not seeing her in the office, not coming by her house to bring her food, not staring into her violet eyes, and falling more in love with her.

Nothing.

Reality is a brutal existence when everything around you falls apart. I never thought things could get worse. I didn’t believe that I would ever be where I am and feeling now.

Reagan is my death sentence and resurrection.

But the latter isn’t promised at all.

Reagan releases my hand and pushes herself up onto the countertop before tugging at the lapels of my suit. Standing between her legs, my hands clamp on to her upper thighs as she lowers her lips to mine.

“For old times’ sake,” she mutters before our lips mold perfectly together. Her fingers lace through my hair, gently pulling me into her.

Exactly where I want to be.

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