Page 187 of Bona Fide

“You take care of your boy,” he leers, brows furrowed so deeply that I’m surprised he can see me. “I got it handled over here.”

He remains silent for a moment, listening to whatever Em is saying, then lowers his hand.

I don’t move, watching him transform into a dark entity of danger and pissed. His knuckles are turning white at how hard he’s holding my phone and whatever is transpiring through their conversation.

His green eyes overlook the yard, staying off me, intently heeding the other line.

“We’re going to have problems if you do it again. Last fucking warning.” Then he hangs up and pockets my cell into his back pocket.

“Marty.” His name is a whisper off my lips, and it’s then that I realize I’m scared. That something deep lies within him that I never knew existed because we’re never together. I’ve never seen him get so angry. Especially towards someone he doesn’t know. And God knows what Emmy just stated on the other line about Wade and I’s relationship.

His gaze flicks to mine, peering down at me with such anger that I find myself cowering back. “What?” My words are choked as his expression quickly softens before my eyes.

I coerce myself to speak. That every fear and disappointment that I’ve kept bottled up has now come to light.

Marty will never understand how I feel about Wade. I don’t even believe he’ll ever know how I’m wired. Sometimes I don’t understand it myself. It doesn’t take much for me to fly off the handle anymore. The smallest irritation causes a sudden reaction, whether it’s getting high off my ass, calling Enzo for sex, or just sinking into a dark pit of self-loathing over the things that have happened.

Wade’s life is dangerous, something that I can’t afford to be a part of. However, it doesn’t stop the way I feel. The direction I think and how I wish with all my heart that things were different. After California, it only made my heart hurt worse. It was a mistake when it wasn’t. He’s still married. He’s now president. I’m the same stupid girl who loves what I shouldn’t, and yet, I crave more.

“Relax, Tsarina.” Marty’s hands come up to my biceps and give me a gentle squeeze. “Everything is going to be alright.”

“What did she say?” It’s a suffocated answer, but I need to know what Wade is going to do. Something inside me warns that it’s not going to end well. That what he told me a long time ago about getting rid of his demons is going to start to come to a head.

“To shut up, in so many words, and that she was calling to talk to you. Not some overbearing big brother.”

“Was...that it?”

He nods. “What did she say to you?”

“I—that...Wade was going to do something.” He lifts a brow, but he’s far from stupid. Seeing Wade in Cali made him extremely irritated. He knows the past we have together. He knows I love to fuck around with idiots and men with power. He knows my addiction runs far deeper than dope and a love of food. I’m a problem he can’t fix.

“Like what?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know.” Marty closes the small distance between us and wraps me in his arms, giving me a small hug.

“Mama is probably wondering where the hell we went, but before we go in...you need to focus on you, Tsarina. He’s a big boy, these problems are too big for you.”

He’s right, I just don’t want him to be.

But in reality, what could I really do? Number one, it’s not my problem. Two, I can’t get my family wrapped up in his world anymore when it was never supposed to happen in the first place. And three, he’s right. I need to concentrate on my next steps and return home so I can be closer to Mama again. She can’t deal with another scandal like the previous ones I’ve been in. Marty and I had to lie to her about it being a rumor involving a possessive wife.

She bought it, we think. She never spoke about it again.

“His world will destroy yours,” Marty continues. “Remember that.” He breaks from me and strides back to the house.

It already did because I still love the dumbass.

---