Page 185 of Bona Fide

? Sympathy — Too Close To Touch ?

Marty didthe ultimate and took me to Wyoming, ten miles away from Yellowstone Park, and I saw my first buffalo. He rented out a cabin in the middle of a wooded area, and it’s beautiful. Rolling hills with trees and a small pond about three hundred yards away. The beds are adorned in bear and buffalo comforters, the kitchen is small but quaint, and there is a large stone fireplace in the family room. Wooden beams hang overhead with deer antler chandeliers and a large deck out in the back with a hot tub.

I’m in heaven.

Literally, I can’t believe that I’m here. And the best part is that Marty flew Mama in as a surprise. Our first family vacation and it’s the most at peace that I’ve felt in a long time. I’m not sure if it’s the clean air or that everything is so peaceful, but I’m exactly where I need to be to plan out the next step in my life, which is getting over what can’t be.

“How many burgers, Rea?” Marty calls out to me from the deck. He found the grill, and it seems like every two hours he’s out using it. We never had one growing up, and he’s been fascinated with how much better everything tastes on it.

“Two,” I yell back. “With cheese. Mama says one, but make her two also.”

Mama chuckles next to me as we sit side by side on the couch, watching some reality show about families buying new houses or keeping their old one after it’s been renovated.

“I think we should buy this place,” Mama chimes, pulling at her yarn that’s a ball on the floor. “It’s beautiful.”

“Gosh, Mama, can you imagine how much it probably is?”

“Probably a lot,” she laughs. “A woman can dream though.”

“I don’t mean to pop your bubble but yeah,” I chortle. “I think we need to buy Marty a grill for Christmas.”

“I agree, he’s having a ball out there. His duty ends next year so he’ll have plenty of time to master it.”

“Think he’ll actually leave?”

Mama’s head snaps to me. “What do you mean? Has he said that he doesn’t want to?”

“No.” I shake my head. “It’s just been such a big part of his life.”

Mama scoffs. “I didn’t want him to go in the first place.” She starts stabbing her crocheted blanket with her hook, clearly frustrated and distraught about the fact that Marty could in fact reenlist.

“I can talk to him, Mama, don’t worry.” I’m not trying to upset her, but Marty hasn’t mentioned being excited about his allotted time left, and I have a feeling he doesn’t know how to be anything else but a soldier.

“I’m not sure if I can go another few more years without him. I don’t want him hurt.”

I couldn’t tell. She only chided him for an hour about the gash on his forehead and how he needs to stop this before it kills him.

A phone rings outside and it’s Marty’s, the mumbling of his voice following afterward.

“I want him married with children,” Mama voices. “He seems so lonely to me even with him being around a whole platoon of people.”

I glance back to the sliding door and see my brother pacing the deck, raking his hand through his dark hair. I never really thought about it until now, but I think she’s right.

Marty has been in the Marines for well over a decade, and we’ve already established that he will more than likely have a hard time leaving.

“We’ll help him,” I tell her. “He’ll be okay.”

“I hope so.” Her voice doesn’t sound convincing enough to fill her words. “I’m afraid he’ll always feel empty.”

“Why would you say that?”

Mama shrugs. “Because he came from humble beginnings and didn’t grow up with—”

“Are you talking about me again, Mama?” Marty hedges, sliding open the screen door with a plate full of burgers.

My brows furrow together while Mama says, “Absolutely. And what are you going to do about it, boy?”

Marty smiles and places the food on the kitchen island. “Nothing.”

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