Page 124 of Bona Fide

? Malibu Nights — LANY ?

His warm andwet hand slides up my spine while his lips brush along the column of my neck. Not only is the water extremely warm in this hot tub but my body kicked up a few notches from his hard dick rubbing in between my legs and along the thin fabric of my bathing suit.

He’s teasing us both, but he’ll be the one that caves before I do—he always does. I’m always too in my head most of the time. He can never fully stop the memories or the double-guessing that repeatedly scream at me.

“I’ve waited too long for this,” he mutters against my skin. “When are you coming home for good?” I almost scoff but refrain.

I can’t come back to Connecticut, and he knows this. My reputation took the biggest shit imaginable, and there’s nothing I could do to wipe it clean. My life here is over, crushed, dissipated into ashes—just like Mama’s house.

“I gotta call it an early night,” I vouch, adjusting myself in his lap. “Mama wants to start moving in the morning.” The pads of his fingertips dig into my lower back like he has a choice in the matter.

He doesn’t.

He’s never going to because he’s not what I need. I’m afraid I’ll never get to that spot again.

“How long do I have?”

“About an hour.” The bottom material of my yellow bikini is moved to the side as Jed presses another kiss to my neck.

“I’m going to fuck you until you can’t forget me,” he whispers, adjusting his bathing suit to take his cock out. “Open your legs wider for me.”

I do, which descends me lower and closer to his hard dick. I don’t wait for permission as I slide down on him, making Jed’s head fall back in pure bliss and torture.

When I come home, we fuck.

When I leave, he whines.

Something you think I’d be used to, but honestly, it was never something I built a tolerance for. Even when we were kids, Jed never wanted to leave me, always wanted to sneak into my house to lay in bed with me.

I swear the guy was insane but ballsy because before Marty left for the Marines, he would’ve gone to prison instead for killing Jed if he found him anywhere near me and a bed.

I try to convince myself that I don’t know why I continue fucking with him, but I know. I just choose to ignore it each and every single time I cave and meet up with him.

It’s because I’m comfortable with him when I’m so uncomfortable in New York. When I’m conflicted because I’m not supposed to be there, I should be home, close to Mama and in my own house. I should be building my old company and thriving underneath all my hard work.

I should let old memories die.

Instead, I’m in a busy city, feeling more lonely than I did before due to bad decision-making and selfishness. I have a groove and steady schedule, it’s just not what I dreamt in my head. I've made some friends, which is a big step for me, but it’s not Mama and Marty and the life I built for us. It’s a whole other existence that doesn’t feel real. I’m just waiting to wake up from it.

In the midst of my “dream”, tack on the other fuck buddy I have named Enzo in New York and you got yourself one hell of a mess named Reagan Shelton. The girl who was sent to exile while the other half of said bad decision-making got to become President of the United States.

You know how Peter Griffin in Family Guy says “it grinds my gears”, well it’s way past that.

His power, he hid behind it. He could use it to make shit “better”. Nothing about his dream was altered or harmed in any way. Mine, however—little ‘ole civilian over here—I’ll never be able to make it right.

Ever.

“I swear, you feel better and better each time,” Jed extolls before slowly pulling out of me just to gradually slide back in.

“Stop teasing me,” I breathe, giving his hair a gentle yank. “Just—” He doesn’t let me finish, already aware of what I’m going to say.

Which is shut up and fuck me.

He begins to pick up the pace. The water splashing in every direction, but it doesn’t deter Jed from plunging into me harder.

“Fuck,” he growls, dragging my bikini top away from one of my tits. He immediately palms it, flicking the nipple, which elicits a faint moan from me. “We could have this every night. Just me and you.”

We could.

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