Page 103 of Bona Fide

“Maybe because my last relationship ended pretty badly.” He lowers his head, possibly thinking about how I’ve called him every name in the book during that time.

“That was over a year ago.”

“You can’t time that shit. There’s no limit, besides, what’s the rush?”

“No rush. Just curious.”

He leans forward. “I’m curious.”

“About?”

“If you still taste the same.” He pushes off the desk, his Armani cologne making an appearance to my nose. “Why aren’t you with anyone?”

I was.

“No time limit, remember?”

“What are my chances of you slamming that glass over my head if I kiss you?” I answer him by finishing the contents inside mine, feeling the buzz sift through my body.

I haven’t eaten today even though my stomach feels like it’s chewing itself alive. It’ll survive, just like I’m going to make it through this.

My phone buzzes in my back pocket, and I have a feeling I know who it is.

Let me go, Wade.

“You won’t get wet,” I mutter, handing him the glass. He immediately takes it from me and sets it on the desk before his lips are on mine.

If you would’ve asked me a month ago if I’d be standing here with Grant’s mouth on mine, I would’ve told you to go get your head checked out. I still can’t stand him, no matter what kind of quarter-life crisis he’s going through right now.

But he’s here, a distraction.

And I don’t want Wade’s lips to be the last ones that have touched mine while I go through the motions of fighting this. If it’s one thing I’m good at—it’s self-destruction. Doing anything I need to get past something or someone that has a hold or stamp in my life.

And Wade is painted all over my life.

Grant keeps a steady pace with his lips, careful not to push too far. He pays special attention to my bottom one, letting his mouth linger with mine before opening his again to take another, possibly dangerous, kiss.

My hands grip his hips, keeping him there because I'm getting used to him after so long. It's been, like I said, over a year since Grant and I have touched each other.

And this time, his arrogance isn't seeping through his body because I know what that feels like. His hands would already be roaming my body, his tongue would've already made a debut, and I would've already pushed myself away.

I know who’s kissing me right now, I’m just choosing not to fucking care at the moment.

"Thanks," he mutters as he breaks away from me but only slightly. We're still breathing in each other's air supply, chest to chest right now as I'm sure his mind is reeling.

Mine’s not.

Mine wants to forget.

“You’re done?” I breathe. “I don’t remember you being so careful with me.”

His mouth breaks into a smile. "Not trying to scare you away. I'm—" My mouth presses into his, letting my tongue do the talking.

Where no words come out, where feelings are left at the door.

Where only our bodies express how we’re feeling because it's all I can muster right now from the tunnel vision of my life, and I don't want to be there right now.

It's dark, the walls coming together closer and closer, and Wade is at the end, calling my name, trying to get me to come back to the light.

---