Page 35 of Bona Fide

Dexter nods and shifts his weight.

“We’re good, thanks though, Dex,” I offer with a forced grin.

Now, beat it.

"Maybe later, then?"

“Sure.”

“We’ll be over later,” Andy quips. “After I’m done with the burger.” I’m about to tell him “no” when my phone buzzes in my hand again.

Wade: Did Emmy schedule a Christmas dinner with the MacMasters?

And just like that—night ruined.

My body buzzes and not in the way that makes you wet in all the right places. No, I’m talking pure irritation.

Me: No.

I bite the inside of my lower lip. Just one sentence and he's barging into my thoughts, which gets me into my feelings.

I don’t like the liability of it. The way I want to leave this bar and go back to Mama’s house to curl up into a ball on my bed.

“Do you have any weed on you?” I ask as Andy snatches a mozzarella stick out of the red plastic basket.

“Yeah, you need to smoke?” I nod. “Alright…” He grabs a napkin and waves our waitress down.

She saunters over immediately, Andy has that weird effect on people and stands in place while waiting for him to speak.

“Darling, I will give you a hundred bucks if you watch my food for me. Just for ten to fifteen minutes.”

Her eyes widen. “What?”

Andy changes positions with her so that she’s closer to the booth. “You. Sit. Watch my food. Hundred dollars in your pocket afterward, got it, honey?”

“Alright...sure.” Andy gives her a wink before linking his arm with mine, guiding me toward the exit of the bar.

The moment the cold air hits me, I throw on my leather coat, letting my uneasiness freeze right along with me.

This isn’t me—not anymore.

Wade couldn't mean more than what he was—my boss. I don’t need anyone around me to make me feel better, act better, be better. I knew walking in, he was going to be a pain in my ass. Was fully aware that it wasn't going to be easy, and when we fucked, it was just that.

But the truth crept up on me, it was the moment Demi announced herself as his wife, and I felt like a fool.

Every time he approaches me now, it hits me over and over again. Reminding me that I let my defense down, and I'm not in the place to do that. Not until everything in my life settles down, and then I won't have to occupy my future with financial issues or my family being without.

But I’m without.

Wade filled a void that brought me back to life, which made me smile through the darkness.

Then he betrayed me.

Lied.

He never promised me anything, though, that's the thing. We never sauntered into a relationship, never spoke about it, or ventured in that direction. He had his dreams that he was following, and I was helping him get there.

If he did, in fact, become president, I sure as fuck didn't want to have that sort of attention on me. If things progressed, I wasn't going to step into that role. I've been in the spotlight before, didn't like it, and never wanted to do it again.

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