Page 96 of Catfish

Chase: I’ll save mine for a rainy day, thank you.

Me: I liked you better when we weren’t talking.

Chase: I’ll like you better when I can hear every rise and fall of your voice. Would paint a pretty picture in my head.

Chase: I just wanted to see how you were. I know it sounds crazy as hell, but you were something that I looked forward to.

I bite my lower lip.

His abrupt dismissal of me hit me where I didn’t want to be touched.

I said I’d keep everyone at arm’s length from now on until…

Until I found someone worth jumping off a damn cliff for. And I don't believe he lives in this world. I shoved away my chance when I screwed Jed over.

Chase: I’ll let you simmer, but I’ll be back. Have a good night, Sox.

I power down my screen, as a strong intrusion of sadness washes over me.

He tossed me away and came back.

I jostled Jed around and left him to wilt away, only he bloomed without me. He’s getting married.

I’m still alone here in a house with no one to write home about.

I deserve all of this self-pity and wallowing.

But I’m not going to die in it.

? Creep — Radiohead ?

A single knock raps on my office door as I listen to the Governor of Massachusetts, George Toren, talk about gun control and how to keep the environment eco-friendly. It’s not until Emmy’s head pops through the door that I stop listening to him.

Her wide-set eyes clamp onto me, nervous, excited, and—I have no idea.

Waving her in with my free hand, she slides inside, promptly closing the door behind her before treading towards me. Immediately grabbing a pen, she starts to scribble on a piece of paper.

Reagan.

My eyes shoot to hers, and she nods excitedly.

I, on the other hand, know that I'm fucking frowning.

Last night didn’t go as planned. It was an impulse, a need that I just went with. I was anxious as all hell to know if she was going to put me out of my misery by either accepting the job or not.

Neither was a win for me.

What I didn’t expect was the blockade she threw up, but then again, I ended things. I don’t know if I hurt her feelings or if she was going through some other bullshit.

Regardless, things weren’t the same. However, I’m not done yet.

George calls out my name in my ear, and I shake myself out of my own head.

"I apologize, George, my assistant just came in, and there is something urgent that came up. Do you mind if I reschedule the rest of this meeting? I'd love to hear the rest of your ideas."

“Absolutely, Governor, go take care of business,” he assures me. I issue out my thanks and practically throw the phone on the receiver.

“This better be good, Em,” I grumble. “I’m busy being sociable.”

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