Page 63 of Catfish

After me, right, like everything else.

I stride towards the back of the bar, knowing exactly where all the dark spots and storage rooms are. I used to come here with Jed and his rich friends with our fake IDs and the money they’d throw at the bouncer when they were skeptical of our age. The moments when I thought things were going to be okay because Jed Hardison loved me.

He promised he'd make sure Mama, Marty, and I would be okay—he lied. And at the time, it felt like the biggest betrayal when his father fired Mama, and she lost not only her paycheck but her health insurance.

Something she obviously desperately needed to stay alive.

Thinking back on it now, Jed had no pull on his father. No way to sway or make him see reason that Mama would die if she didn’t receive the care she needed. She needed to go to her doctor’s appointments, went to work when she was feeling so ill from the radiation and chemo that she was puking all day long.

It’s what made Marty go into the military. It’s why I started to steal more often so that I could sell jewelry and purses to the rich girls in Sempton.

It’s the reason I sold my pride to his other brother, Grant, so that I could get payback and break Jed’s heart because feeling his alleged dishonesty wasn’t something I could swallow like any normal person.

Each physical step away from the light just confirms I’m going back there, to the dark me. No matter how bad it was, the hustling and gambling, I’m dead set on reigning over my world.

I might not wear a crown, shit, I don’t want one, but I’ll never let anyone get a stranglehold on me again.

Not on my feelings.

Not on my life.

Not in my head.

Jed wasn’t to blame, I was. For pointing a finger at him when he would’ve never of done a thing to harm me or my family.

And I can’t take back what I did.

I open the door to a vacant office, finding it dark, quiet, and secluded. A rational mind would tell you this is a bad idea. That it’s just asking for something to go wrong. But I feel more comfortable in the dark where my flaws are hidden. They may not be external but I feel them creeping up to the surface like an old friend. I’ve tried to drown them but the villains always find their way back.

“We allowed back here?” Billy interjects as he trails behind me.

I hear the door softly click as the darkness envelopes around us. My heart begins to gallop on its own accord because I’m passing a line of no return again.

But I want to forget.

I just got rejected by a man who made my days a little brighter, and I want to let the shadows back in. I can hide behind them for a little while.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the dark,” I croon, following the stream of moonlight from the windows. It falls on a desk, the perfect stage for my ominous self to come out and play her part.

“Just don’t want to get kicked out for trespassing.” I turn on my heels, letting my gaze find Dexter because he’s more interesting and less stressful.

Billy sounds like a play-by-the-books kinda guy. Dexter, on the other hand, might be the temporary block to Chase and my brother who’s out in the world somewhere.

He’s standing by the door as he stares at me. I wish I could see his face completely so that I could read him. However, he’s here, no one forced him.

Crooking my finger, I let him decide if he’s going to idle away in the background or take me up on my offer.

To my utter amusement, he strides towards me, casual and calm. Goosebumps begin to trail up my body as my nipples harden at the possibilities of what is going to play out.

The moment his hand wraps around my waist, it’s game on.

I pull his head down so I can press my lips to his. My tongue doesn’t waste time, needing to draw a blank, demanding to be a no one tonight.

Another body presses against my back, and Billy's hand roams my spine. Dexter tries to devour me with his mouth, Billy slowly unzips my jeans while he presses his hard cock into my ass.

Turn off, I tell my mind. These two men have to have enough experience to distract me for just fifteen minutes.

My fingers start at Dexter’s buttons, the cool air of the room brushing the heated skin of my backbone when Billy’s lips graze the crook my my neck.

---