Page 109 of Catfish

A soft and kind smile adorns his face, perfectly straight teeth, and a smidgeon of facial hair that I remember he never could fully grow out.

Standing behind me like I never took his heart, slammed it into the concrete, and lit the damn thing on fire.

“Jed.” It’s legit the only thing my head can compute right now. I don’t know what to do except get on my knees and beg for him to forgive me so I can just get rid of some of the guilt I feel.

“Hey, Rea,” he quips with his smile still plastered on his face. “How’ve you been?”

Oh, fuck my life right now, God, please.

I bobble my head up and down and lift a shoulder. “Good.”

“I saw your ma the other week,” he points out. “Did she tell you I said ‘hi’?” I don’t want to answer his question. I want to ask him how he could even want to stand in front of me without choking me out.

I fucked, made out with, and became engaged to your brother, Grant. Just punch me in the throat and walk away.

I coerce a weak tug of my lips, hoping by some God-given miracle that he gives me a piece of his mind. "She did, said you were doing well."

He tucks his hands into the pockets of his black dress slacks. “I am, just continuing to live in the shadows of Grant, where I like to be.”

Likes to be?

He hated it.

I open my mouth to tell him that's not where he belongs, but my place is groveling at his feet, not to remind him of anything. I caused my damage, told Jed that I'd stand by him every step of the way against his father if need be. But obviously, I didn't follow through.

“Yeah, I saw him the other day,” I voice, gripping the death out of my tumbler.

Jed tucks his chin into his chest, looking ashamed. I have to blink a few times to make sure because he has nothing to be remorseful about.

“I want to apologize about that,” he mutters. “Not showing up and all.” My brain forgets to tell my lungs to take its next breath because I’m still gaping at Jed like I’m living a mixture of nightmare and reality in a vile drink of life.

So, he is getting married.

“Oh, I thought...it just sounded like Grant was trying to—you’re getting married." I try to lighten my tone, but it falls flat like my heart, straight into my stomach.

Jed skates his gaze back to me. “Yeah. It’s, um...happening really fast.” I see the nervous swallow, the beads of sweat that are starting to form on his forehead.

He doesn’t want this?

“Should I say congratulations? I’m honestly…not even sure what to say.” I inhale a deep breath, demanding my body to relax. “It’s—I messed everything up.” A sudden burn forms at my eyes. “Jed, I’m so—” He slices a hand through the air, then rakes it through his light chestnut hair.

“Don’t...Rea. We were kids.”

“I was old enough to know better. You were—”

“Young," he fills in, a slight harshness to his voice. "We were both young and did, somewhat, stupid things." His face then lifts in a beam. "But I wouldn't trade them for the world. I still look back on them...from time to time." I open my mouth, but he beats me to it. "Can I get you another drink?"

Glancing down at my glass, it’s just about empty. I give him a weak smile and nod.

Rounding me, he orders me another beverage with an extra shot while I stare blankly at the crowd of people in front of me. They're all blurs as it hits me that he still remembers how to read my vibe. While I was always struggling with my words and expressing how I felt, he got me out of that funk. I never told him, but I was always deathly afraid that he'd hurt me. That he'd leave me for a girl within his realm of rich and powerful.

When it was me that did exactly that—with his own brother.

A moment later, Jed is at my side again, handing over my fresh drink as he takes a sip of his own.

“So, your mama told me your business is doing well.”

“It is.”

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