Page 187 of Dare To Break

Surprise lights Elena’s eyes, and she laughs. “Why would you want to know about him?”

“Because you’ve never talked about him. I don’t even know his name.”

“You have a new father now, and Elliot is a good man. He’ll treat us both right. You’ll see.”

I frown, the resentment within me building. “Why won’t you tell me who he is? Why is it a secret? Don’t I have the right to know?”

She’s silent for a moment, studying me thoughtfully, her fingers stroking the petals of the bouquet she’s still arranging.

“I guess you’re old enough to know now. His name was Tom. We met when I was eighteen. He had the most beautiful smile. I was young. I thought I was in love, and he made me feel so special.”

My heart constricts. “What happened?”

The dreamy expression slides off her face. “He knocked me up. Of course, he said it was my fault for agreeing to let him fuck me without a condom a few times. The morning after pill I took failed, and here you are.” She gestures at me with her free hand.

Every tiny, fragile hope I’ve been carrying since I was small is shattered by her cruel careless words.

“He—he dumped you because you were pregnant?”

“Your dear daddy wanted me to get rid of you. It wouldn’t have looked good for him as a teacher at the school I was attending. Plus, he had a wife and kids.” She takes a sip of wine.

My stomach twists, acid burning like fire in my gut. “My dad was one of your teachers?”

Elena gives me a pitying look. “I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you, sweetheart. I’m sorry if I’ve destroyed all your fairytales, but you need to know the realities of life. I ended up dropping out of school. My mother wasn’t thrilled that I decided to keep you. Dad died a few years earlier, and it was just the two of us. Do you remember Mee-maw? She passed away when you were three.”

“No.” I swallow thickly, the word grating against my tongue.

“She used to braid your hair and sing you to sleep at night. That woman practically raised you for the first few years of your life.”

The truth is a poison, burning its way through me down to the rest of the trauma I’ve kept buried.

Her attention returns to the flowers she’s arranging. “You’re better off without your father. He didn’t want you, sweetheart. We have a better life here. You need to look to the future, not the past.”

Her words stay with me during our dinner. There’s a heaviness weighing down on me, so intense it has my eyes stinging with tears. The sadness becomes all-consuming, and all I can think about is how neither of my parents want me.

I take no notice of the conversation going on around me. The food tastes like sawdust in my mouth, and I manage a few mouthfuls before I’m done.

I escape to my room as soon as I can, and I’m not sure how long I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, before the thoughts in my head become too much. A glance at my clock shows me it’s midnight.

I scoot off the mattress, and leave my room. The hallway beyond is silent. Someone has left the light on in the entrance hall downstairs, and it provides me with the illumination I need.

The living room is empty, sheathed in shadows from the light spilling in from the hallway. I cross to the bar, and hunt through the bottles, searching for what I’m after. The bottle of vodka is at the back. I remember Miles telling me it has no flavor, and I’m desperate enough to try anything, if it will ease the pain strangling me. Anything to make me forget the worst few months of my life.

I twist off the lid with shaking hands, and fill half a glass, then open a can of Coke to top it up and take a sip.

It doesn’t taste as bad as I imagine. I down the rest of the glass and pour myself another one. A strange heat works its way into my belly. The third one I swallow a little more slowly, before I wipe my lips with the back of my hand.

I hate my mom.

I hate Eli.

He got what he wanted. Is he enjoying seeing me in pain?

I hear his voice loud and clear inside my head.

You will never be anything more than the daughter of a gold-digger. You’re nothing to me, understand? I won’t rest until you’re gone. You’ll either leave willingly by car or in a box, I don’t care which. Frightened Miles will dump you now, knowing you’re kissing other guys behind his back? It has to make him wonder if you’re spreading your legs for them too.

I rest my hip against the side of the bar, and take another mouthful, a warmth buzzing through my veins.

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