Page 79 of Dare To Break

“What are you thinking about?”

“How much we’re probably going to regret signing up for the decoration team,” I mumble.

“I kind of remember Lacy giving us no choice.”

“She’s strong in the ways of the Force.”

Miles chuckles at my Star Wars reference. “My roommate is going into town on Saturday. Do you want to come and hang out in my room after practice? We could watch a movie and cut out paper bats.”

The thought of anything that stops me from dwelling on the chaos in my head is a welcome offer. “Sure.”

“Okay, people. Don’t let me down.” Lacy claps her hands together. “We’ll have a meeting at the end of next week to see how you’re progressing.”

Everyone rises, seats scraping on the floor as they hurry to leave. Hanging back with Miles, we wait until the rush is over and a trickle of students are left.

Miles bumps his shoulder playfully into mine as we walk. “What’s wrong?”

I knock gently back into him. “It’s nothing.”

“Is it your mom?”

At the mention of Elena, I feel the void in my chest. “She texted me a few days ago. The message didn’t make any sense. I think she was drunk.”

Sometimes it feels like she’s trying to erase me from her life. It makes me wonder why she even bothered to come home in all the years she kept leaving. I don’t pull away when he holds my hand, used to the feeling of his fingers entwined loosely with mine.

“Are you going home for a visit?”

“No.”

Asking Eli to drive me isn’t an option. I don’t want to be stuck in a car with him again for four hours. He’d probably bury me alive somewhere before we even got halfway back to the Hamptons. I still don’t know what I’m going to do when we reach Thanksgiving break. Elena won’t come out this far to get me. Maybe I can book an Uber?

I think back to last year’s Thanksgiving. I’d spent it with Amanda and her parents. The warmth and love in their home had been so palpable it felt like being wrapped in a comforting blanket. My mother had been in L.A., banging one of her boyfriends. She turned up a few days later with streaky mascara and a souvenir keyring for me.

The holidays with Eli and our parents are going to be a new kind of torment.

“You know I’m here if you want to talk,” Miles says. “You can confide in me. I’m not going to tell anyone.”

A little of the tension eases in my shoulders. “I will. Just not right now.”

“You already know all about Enrico.” His cheeks flush red.

His boyfriend back home. The one he’s madly in love with.

Smiling, I squeeze his hand. “When are you going to see him?”

“The weekend before the Halloween party.”

“I’m happy for you.”

When we reach the end of the hallway, Miles pulls away. “I promised Bret I’d meet up with him.”

The restless energy that’s fueled me the last few weeks floods my muscles. “Okay. Text me later.”

He nods, walking in the direction of the library.

Before I even acknowledge what I’m doing, I have the phone out of my bag and in my hand. Gripping it tightly, I scroll through all the unanswered messages I’ve left.

Me: WHO ARE YOU?

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