Page 119 of Dare To Break

“You okay?” Kellan’s voice stops me when I’m halfway across the room.

“Yeah.” My voice is rough and raspy, as though I’ve been shouting.

“Sure?” The light above his bed clicks on, and he sits up. “You were yelling.”

I sigh and turn back to face him. “It’s almost Halloween.”

His tongue snakes out to wet his lips and he nods. “I know.” His voice is quiet.

“Why is school acting like it’s just another party?”

“Because they want to move past what happened last year. You can’t blame them for that.”

“Fucking Lacy should know better.”

“I think they all just want to make a better memory, Eli.” His voice is sad. “God knows, we need one.”

I sigh, my heart rate slowing down. “I’m going to drive out to see her tomorrow. Take some flowers.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“She was my friend, too.” He switches off the light and settles back down. “Get some sleep.”

***

I uncap the bottle of tequila while Kellan brushes away the leaves covering the small plot in front of the gravestone. I take a mouthful, then pour some onto the ground before handing it to my friend.

“Happy birthday, Zoey,” I say quietly.

Kellan sits down and hooks his hands around his knees. “Do you think her parents ever come?” He arranges a vase of flowers—all her favorite colors—and sets it in front of the stone.

I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess someone does as it’s kept clean.”

“My gran would set up camp at my grave if I was dead.”

“That’s because you’re a spoiled brat.” I take the bottle back and swallow another mouthful.

“I can’t help being so damn adorable.” He holds out a hand for the bottle, spills some more onto the grave, and then lifts it to his lips. “I was her favorite.”

I snort. “No, you weren’t.”

The smile he directs at me is gentle. “No, I wasn’t. Zoey had no favorite. She loved us both.”

Silence falls between us as we pass the bottle back and forth, sharing it with Zoey, until it’s empty. I stand and stagger to the gravestone, stroking my fingers over the words etched into the marble.

“Sometimes I wonder if you died because we were friends. If you’d stayed away from me, would you still be alive?”

“It’s not your fault, Eli.”

“I’m not so sure.” I turn to face him, draping an arm across the top of the stone, hugging it like I used to hug her. “She was popular. Everyone loved her … right up until the moment she chose to be friends with me.”

“With us.”

“She was already friendly with you. It wasn’t until she forced her friendship on me that everyone started to avoid her. That’s when the pranks started, the name calling, the dares.”

Kellan lays back, tucking his hands behind his head and closes his eyes. “She chose to do the dares, Eli. No one made her do them. We don’t know why she went to the cemetery that night.”

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