Page 153 of Dare To Fall

An image of Kellan on the altar and the raw pain on Eli’s face flashes in my head.

“You don’t know that. Kellan is dead because of me,” I say the words softly, knowing if I say them any louder, all the emotions I’m holding in might just rip me apart.

“Bella, open your eyes.”

I shake my head.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” This time her demand is firmer.

I meet her gaze. She searches my face, her expression serious.

“You’re not responsible for what happened.”

Yes, I am. Kellan had that phone because of me. He was talking to the blackmailer because of me. He shouldn’t have been at the chapel. He shouldn’t be the one who’s dead.

My head aches with all the thoughts I can’t switch off. “Is Miles okay?”

“The police took him to the hospital under armed guard. He’ll be protected.”

“I still can’t believe Evan was responsible for all of this.”

“Was he one of your friends?” There’s a note of curiosity in Elena’s tone.

I frown. “No, I mean, I guess he was in my circle when I was hanging out with the cheerleaders. He was always so quiet. He followed one of the other boys around all the time.”

“You don’t know why he snapped?”

I shake my head. “I think Miles knows, but the police took him before he could tell me.”

She offers me a sad smile. “You’re safe now, Bella.”

I don’t return it, unable to shake the coldness that’s been hanging over me since the chapel. “Am I?”

“He’s eighteen, alone, and on the run. The authorities will catch him in no time.”

I wish I had her confidence. There’s no way Evan did all this on his own. He must have had help.

Who? The other jocks? The cheerleaders? Teachers?

My head spins with the possibilities.

“Everything is going to be okay,” my mother continues. “Once we have both of you home, you’ll see.”

A hysterical little laugh rises in my throat. “Do you think that’s going to fix all this? That we’ll be back to normal in a couple of weeks? Eli held his dead best friend in his arms. There was so much b-blood.” My voice wobbles and my eyes burn. “Ev-everything’s bro-broken.”

A sob bursts from my chest, and I bury my face in my hands. Shaking, my heart breaks all over again. I cry, all my sorrow and anguish pouring out with my pain.

Images hit me one by one.

Kellan kissing Miles. Kellan laughing. Kellan smiling. Kellan holding me when I had a panic attack. Kellan sitting beside me when I’d been all alone. Kellan teasing me. Kellan dancing with me. Kellan … Kellan … Kellan.

He’s gone, and he’s not coming back.

Arms envelop me, and I blindly go into them. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I sob against my mother’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you, Bella. I’ve got you,” she croons into my hair. “Let it all out, honey. We’ll get you both through this.”

Her gentle words just make me cry harder.

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