Page 75 of Dare To Live

When I told you I needed you, I meant it, Ari.

My stomach flutters as I recall his words. Does he mean that? He doesn’t want closure. Eli wants something different. He wants more. A fling?

Stop lying to yourself. You know what he wants.

I ignore the little voice in my head.

The voices in the other room are too low for me to hear clearly, so I ignore them while I think through the conversation we’d had last night.

He’s right.

I wouldn’t have gone to dinner with him if he’d asked. All the adrenaline and excitement of the games we played hooked me into coming back to his hotel with him. The promise of pleasure that only he can give me. We might have been apart all these years, but he still knows me better than I know myself.

Is that why I’ve not been able to have a normal relationship with another man? All the dating was tedious and led to boredom quickly. Both men I’d been with were sweet and gentle, the complete opposite of Eli. We had things in common, but it wasn’t enough of a connection for anything to last.

Because Eli is my type.

My first love. My first everything.

Our games at Churchill Bradley Academy when we were eighteen shaped my sexual desires.

Does that make me some kind of sexual deviant? This need I have for the dirty, naughty things he makes me do when we’re together.

I push the pillow off my head, and crawl out from under the blankets.

My mother’s voice is asking questions, I can tell by the lilt to her voice.

Maybe he’ll go out to breakfast with her and leave me here so I can make my escape without my mom seeing me. I dismiss that idea as soon as it forms.

He’s made it clear that he thinks I’m going to run as soon as I can. There’s no way he’ll leave me alone in the penthouse. He might have teased about the window, but there had been a serious note to his voice that makes me wonder if he hadn’t been joking at all.

I hurry into the bathroom and examine my appearance in the mirror above the sink. My hair is a disheveled mess. I try to put it in some kind of order. Hickeys litter both sides of my neck, the darkening bruises bright against my skin. I brush my fingertips lightly over some of them.

It’s been ten years since I wore the marks of Eli’s loving. And here we are again. A handful of hours, and he’s already branded me inside and out.

I wash my face, grab the soft white fluffy robe off the back of the door and thrust my arms through it, and snap the belt closed around my waist.

I’m tempted to hide in here until my mother leaves, but when I walk back into the bedroom, I can still hear them talking. I pause near the doorway, to listen.

“If I’d known you brought someone back with you last night, I would have called first.” My mother laughs. “I hope I haven’t embarrassed the poor thing.”

“I left her hiding under the blankets” Eli’s chuckle sends a shiver of lust through me. “I don’t think she expected us to have company this morning.”

“I’m not sure how long it’s been since I’ve seen you smiling that way. She must be special.”

“She is.”

“Oh! Before I forget. Arabella texted me last night to say she was staying with a friend.” My mother’s voice turns thick with worry. “I messaged her this morning to check in, but I haven’t heard anything back.”

Fuck.

I close my eyes and cringe. The whole point of the message had been to make sure she didn’t worry.

“Do you know who she left the charity event with last night? I know she’s a grown adult, and I shouldn’t worry, but I do.”

“She’s—”

Panic rises, and I step out of the bedroom. “Right here.”

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