Page 50 of Dare To Live

We’re not fucking done.

Chapter 29

Arabella

The chilly winter wind nips at my cheeks and nose as I watch Eli drive away. Blinking faster to stop the tears burning at the back of my eyes, I huff out a breath. He ignored me the whole journey, which made it clear how unwanted I was. I wish I’d never come out to the fucking cabin in the first place. My mom should have found someone else to come and check on him instead. The whole thing has been one big mistake.

I need to move forward. Forget what happened. Dwelling on it will do no good. At least I know where I stand with Eli. I got the closure I wanted. The knowledge doesn’t make me as happy as I thought it would.

I don’t enter the bed and breakfast that he dumps me outside. Instead, I trudge, juggling all my bags, to the little café down the street. I order myself a coffee and find an empty table by the window. The tension holding me upright finally collapses, and I sink onto the seat. All I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in shame and embarrassment, but that’s not possible right now.

I’m not ready to face the truth. I tried to seduce Eli, and it had ended in nothing but tears.

I strip out of my coat but keep my hat on and my scarf coiled around my neck. Even though the air is laced with tempting scents, the thought of food makes my stomach churn.

I need to get back to L.A. Back to my life. Opening the app on my cell, I tap around, and I have an Uber on the way a minute later.

In an attempt to keep my thoughts away from Eli, the last few days and the painful memories it’s left, I check the dozen messages waiting for me.

Miles: How’s it going with Eli?

Miles: Merry Christmas, bestie! I wish you’d stayed in New York with us. I miss your face. Yes, I’m drunk. Eli doesn’t deserve you looking after him. You’re a great friend, and I love you!

Miles: Bella, are you ok?

Miles: Why aren’t you responding??

Miles: Ivan just told me about a storm heading your way. Maybe you should come back to New York.

Miles: I tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail.

Miles: I’m freaking out a little that I haven’t heard from you for so long.

Miles: WHERE ARE YOU?

I smile sadly. The longest we’ve gone without some form of contact is twenty-four hours. The thought of Ivan dealing with an anxious Miles sends a pang of guilt through my chest.

Mom: Merry Christmas to you and Eli. Let me know how he’s doing when you can.

Mom: It’s been a while since I’ve heard anything. Are you kids ok?

Mom: Both your phones are going to voicemail. What’s happening?

I sip my coffee and listen to my voice messages next.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you and Eli? I saw that there was a snowstorm out there, and I hope you’re both being safe and careful. I’ll try calling again in a few days.”

“It’s Mom again, I still can’t get through. Are you both okay? Talk to you soon.”

I can’t bring myself to call her back at the moment. Maybe tomorrow when I’ve had time to process events. I move to the next voice message.

“Hey, it’s me.” Miles’ voice is tight, barely masking his concern. “Yes, I’m checking up on you. I haven’t heard from you in days, and I’m worried a bear might have eaten you. Ivan assures me they are all hibernating, but I’ve seen plenty of horror movies. Text me when you can.”

“It’s me again. Do I need to fly over there and dig you out from under all that snow? Please, don’t give me a heart attack. Call me.”

I shoot off a text to ease his concern.

Me: I’m alive and heading home.

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