Page 24 of Dare To Live

“I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Good. You stink.” He doesn’t.

I count to ten before I open my eyes, and stare at the falling snow beyond the kitchen window. There’s a dull throbbing in my temple, and my body aches. This is not how I’d envisioned spending Christmas. But at least he’s awake.

I’ve spent days living on coffee, anxiously waiting for his fever to break, terrified of what would happen if he got worse.

Another shiver wracks me. I hope the heating kicks in quickly. To keep warm, I set the table with plates, and silverware. Glasses come next, and I waver over whether to open a bottle of wine, then decide against it. He’s been sick. The last thing he needs is alcohol. I consider the contents of the refrigerator and settle on two bottles of water.

Paper napkins and the centerpiece I made add the final touch to the table. It’s nothing special, just a glass jar with a few cranberries and sprigs of a fir tree from outside when I’d gone to check the woodshed, but it gives a little festive cheer.

I drain the vegetables and take the turkey out of the oven. Eli comes stalking into the kitchen, just as I finish plating everything up.

I gesture at his seat. “Hungry?”

He pokes at my centerpiece with his finger. “What the fuck is that?”

“I thought it would brighten the place up a little.” I join him at the table. “I looked for Christmas decorations, but I couldn’t find a box anywhere.”

“I don’t have any.”

“You don’t put up decorations?”

He shrugs. “Why would I? It’s not like Santa’s coming with gifts for me, is it?”

I frown at him. “You could have a tree, at least.”

“Who for? The unwanted guest I wasn’t expecting?” His eyes are like chips of cold hard jade. “You don’t have the right to come here and tell me what I should or shouldn’t be doing.”

“I’m not—”

“Sure, you’re not.”

The pain in my temple throbs, and as much as I want to argue with him, I’m too exhausted to waste my energy.

“It’s Christmas. Let’s not fight. I bought hot chocolate and marshmallows for later.”

“I don’t eat fucking chocolate.” Stabbing his fork into a carrot, he pops it into his mouth.

He’s back to being the unbearable beast who slammed the door in my face when I first arrived. The vulnerable, helpless Eli I’ve been tending to is gone.

We eat in silence, the mood between us strained and uncomfortable.

I’d hoped things would be easier once he felt better. Maybe I expected a little gratitude for looking after him. Guess I was wrong.

I eat half of my meal and push my plate away. While Eli carries on eating, I busy myself with putting the leftovers away and carving up the rest of the turkey. We have enough to last us a few days. Once everything is done, I wash and dry my hands.

“I’m going into the other room.” I don’t even bother to look at him.

In the bathroom, I swallow down a painkiller before retracing my steps. I switch on the radio I found in a kitchen cabinet and tune it to the station playing Christmas music. Keeping the music low, I set it on the coffee table and curl up on the comfortable couch.

“Thank you for watching over me, Arabella. Thank you for cooking for me. Thank you for sitting and watching me breathe every waking second while I’ve been sick.” I mutter under my breath. “Thank you for caring.”

I grab the blanket I’ve been using to keep warm since the fire went out and wrap it around myself. If Eli wants to play Scrooge, that’s fine, he can stay with the ghosts of the past. I’m going to at least try and squeeze some enjoyment out of the day. Lying down, I tuck my hand under my cheek and listen to the music.

Chapter 14

Eli

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