Page 222 of Dare To Live

“I’ll wait outside.” The warmth of Miles’ hand slips away from mine.

I open my eyes slowly. They adjust to the light, just in time to see him leave. I lift my hand and scrub the tears from my cheeks. When I’m alone, I’ll grieve properly.

“That’s the first time your friend has left your side since they brought you in.” The nurse smiles at me kindly. “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts.”

“You’ve been in and out of it for the past three days. We had to give you something to keep you calm, so everything might be a little fuzzy. We didn’t want the stress you’ve been under to harm the babies.”

A roaring sound fills my ears, and my breath locks in my throat. “W-what did you just say?”

I can’t have heard her correctly.

“Every time you woke up, you’ve been very anxious and upset. So, we had to give you something to keep you calm. We didn’t want the stress you’ve been under to harm the babies,” she repeats.

“Babies? Me? Babies?” I can barely get the words out. My heart stops … starts … stops again, before taking off in rapid flight against my ribs.

Understanding ripples over her expression. “You didn’t know?”

My head spins. When was the last time I had my period? Everything has been a blur since Christmas. Eli didn’t use a condom when I stayed at the cabin. I told him I was taking contraception.

What about when we hooked up in New York? I forgot to fill my prescription after leaving the cabin. I had sworn off sex and men. There was no point in taking it when I wasn’t sleeping with anyone.

And then Eli turned up …

A baby.

Eli’s baby.

My hand creeps slowly up to cradle my abdomen through the blanket. “Can you tell how far along I am?”

The nurse nods. “You’re about ten weeks along.”

“Babies? You said babies.” I swallow. “Two?”

Her smile returns. “Twins.”

“Could I have a scan to see them?”

“I can arrange it, and we’ll get you an ultrasound photograph to keep.”

“Thank you.” I lower my gaze to the blanket. “I’d like to be alone if that’s okay.”

“The doctor will be around in an hour. If you need anything, just press the buzzer.”

Something inside me cracks the second she steps out of the door. I bow my head, and the tears I’ve kept at bay release in a torrent. They stream down my cheeks to drip down my chin. Sobs rip through my body and I twist on to my side so I can bury my face into the pillow and cry.

Eli is gone, but new life is growing inside me. My heart feels like it’s constricting inside my chest.

“I promise I’m going to love you.” I whisper. “I’ll love you twice as much as any other mom. I’ll love you just as fiercely as your daddy would have. I’ll protect you. I promise.”

Eli should be here with me.

I should have him at my side.

The knowledge that we have created something between us is bittersweet. They will never know their father because of Evan Ridley. But at least they won’t have to live in fear of that monster ever coming back.

I don’t hear the door opening again.

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