Page 192 of Dare To Live

“No. It took a while for his father to come to terms with the fact he didn’t like girls, but we have a pretty good relationship these days.” He leans forward. “But that’s not what you’re here for, so please … if you wouldn’t mind?”

I nod. “Arabella was bullied a lot. Mostly by me, which I have no excuse for other than I was an angry eighteen-year-old boy who thought his dad was replacing his mom. But also, by Jace and his friends. After she started getting texts, which we finally discovered were coming from Evan …” I nail Jace with a glare. “And you.”

His cheeks darken and he looks down but doesn’t deny it.

“Anyway, it took a while for us to find out she wasn’t just trying to turn the tables and bully her bully. But when we did …” I think about the day I found her in the chapel, ice-cold to the touch and emotionally numb. “We knew we had to figure out who it was. To do that, we … I … talked her into continuing to do as she was told. Kellan was certain whoever it was wanted me to react, to retaliate. But if we knew what she was going to do in advance, then I could plan my response and take away that angry emotional element.” I stop, shaking my head.

“It was a fucking bad judgement call because Evan knew exactly what my trigger points were and used them to condition me into matching anything negative with Arabella … Anyway, there was one occasion where he talked Jace and a couple of others into breaking into her room one night.” I lick my lips, and I can’t hide the angry bite to my voice. “They tied her up, cut her off her underwear, touched her and took photographs. I don’t even fucking remember what I was retaliating for. But the morning after the assault, which I had no knowledge of, I walked into the classroom, bent her over a desk and spanked her ass … hard. I made her count each blow. Kellan stopped me, but not before the damage was done.”

“Evan wanted everyone to do more than just touch her. Kevin was eager but …” Jace’s voice shakes as he recounts the night. “Bret and me? We didn’t want any part of it. I touched her ... in ways I shouldn’t have. Bret took photographs. And Evan stood there and laughed.”

“That’s …” Ivan looks from me to Jace and back again. “That’s appalling. But—” he snaps his mouth closed.

I frown. “But what?”

“Nothing.”

“Fuck nothing. You know something. What is it?”

“I’ll tell you once you’re done with your story. While I appreciate knowing more about what happened, why are you telling me now?”

“Because I want you to help me.”

“With what?”

“None of them ever paid for what they did to Ari that night.” My voice is soft. “I’d like to change that.”

“How?”

My lips curl up. “Jace has already said he wants to apologize to Ari for his part in it. I want to … convince Kevin and Bret that they should do the same.”

“Hmm.” Ivan clears his throat. “About that. There’s something you should know, but I need to make a call first. Give me a second?”

***

“What the actual fuck?” It’s the fourth time I’ve said it.

I’m sitting on the bench near the cemetery, Jace and Ivan on either side of me. I’m pretty sure the positioning is on purpose; in case I decide to get up and punch the man standing in front of me.

“I couldn’t say anything.”

“You couldn’t say anything?” My voice is flat. “That’s your excuse? You couldn’t fucking say anything.”

“Eli, if word got out that I’m a federal agent and not a priest, then we would lose what slim chance we have of ending this once and for all.”

“You should have fucking warned us. Arabella is walking around, believing that fucker is behind bars. And you’re here doing what? Playing fucking dress-up and spinning bullshit and lies. You’re messing with fucking lives here. It’s not high school and it’s not a fucking game.”

“I know that. It’s why we couldn’t tell you.”

“Bullshit.” I do surge up then and wrap my fingers into the front of Bret’s shirt. “You’re telling me Evan escaped before Christmas and no one fucking told us. And that this entire fucking week is an elaborate plan by the feds to draw him out. That we … that Arabella is fucking bait. I’m supposed to be okay with that?”

Hands pull me back.

“Don’t put assaulting an FBI agent onto your list of bad decisions,” Jace mutters.

“My list of bad fucking decisions?” I swing around to face him. “Did you know?”

He shakes his head. I turn and nail Ivan with a glare. “But you fucking did.”

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