Page 110 of Dare To Live

“Mr. McIntyre and Coach Braun are by the doors with your dorm keys. If you could make an orderly line, we’ll get those distributed and then you can spend the rest of the evening relaxing.”

I snort.

Relaxing. How the fuck am I supposed to relax when I’m sitting in the place where two of my best friends were murdered? Where I tormented a girl by day and worshiped her body at night? Where I was viewed as a monster and allowed a psychopath to turn me into one.

Why the fuck did I come here?

I shove to my feet, my intention to walk out, but there are too many people milling around by the doors, all laughing and chattering as they wait to get the keys to the rooms they’d spent so many years living in.

Am I the only one who doesn’t want to fucking take that key? Am I the only one who remembers what fucking happened here?

One look at all the happy, smiling faces makes me think I am. But then I catch sight of pale features, and green eyes a shade lighter than mine.

Miles inclines his head and comes toward me, his pace slow. I don’t move, don’t look away, and when he reaches me and hooks an arm around my neck to pull me into a rough hug, I don’t stop him.

“This is so weird,” he whispers close to my ear. “I keep waiting for Kellan to say something sarcastic.”

“Me too.”

We part, almost reluctantly.

“I’m not sure how I feel about sleeping in the dorm rooms, although I should have realized that’s what they would do.” His confession is uttered in a low voice.

I suck in a deep breath. “Kellan’s car is still in the parking lot.” I’m sure the anguish in his eyes is reflected in mine. “I’m not sure I want to see what’s in our old room.”

“I can come with you, if you like?”

I’m shaking my head before he finishes speaking. “No. I think it’s best I do it alone.” I don’t want anyone to witness the potential breakdown I’m going to have. I fucking cried when I saw his car, fuck only knows what I’m going to do when I walk into that fucking room again.

Chapter 61

Arabella

“Did you know Eli is here?” Miles’ eyes meet mine as we walk across the grass.

My heart jolts in my chest at the news. “He is?”

“I saw him earlier. He … he looked as shell-shocked as you do to be back.”

“I didn’t know he was coming.” Half turning, I peer back at the crowd leaving the cafeteria but see no sign of him. “I thought this was the last place he would ever want to visit.”

“Same could be said for us,” my best friend reminds me.

Yet here we are.

Ivan curls his strong arm around his fiancé’s waist, his other hand resting on the small of my back. “Come on, let’s see the rooms before we get the cases from the car.”

With one last lingering look for Eli, I move toward the dorm building with them.

Eli is here? Why? The thought circles in my head. What do I say if I bump into him? It’s been weeks since the drunken texts.

I don’t think he’ll be in the mood to talk. This is the place his two best friends died.

That hikes up my anxiety levels.

Here I am, worrying about a few stupid messages when he’ll be reliving some of the worst moments in his life. Ones that ripped his heart apart. I can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. I have Miles and Ivan to lean on. He’s here on his own, with no support. Guilt swirls through me and I dart another look over my shoulder but see no sign of him.

People walk past us, chatting and laughing. A part of me wishes I had what they do—happiness at reconnecting after so many years.

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