Page 107 of Dare To Live

A choked laugh escapes me.

I love you, Eli, but it’s conditional. If you’re going to sit out here in the dark crying on the hood of my car all night, I’m going to have to reevaluate whose head I’m haunting. I might have to hop over to Arabella’s, instead.

“You’re not even fucking in my head. I’m just imagining what you might say to me.”

It counts. You know it’s what I’d say if I was there.

“If you were here, this wouldn’t be such a fucking problem, you idiot.”

Stop swearing at me. Get up, wipe your eyes, and remind the assholes inside who you are.

Wipe my eyes? I lift a hand. My fingers come away from my face wet.

Suck it up, buttercup. Admit it. You love me. You miss me.

“You already know I miss you.”

Then get your ass inside, unpack, then come and visit me in the cemetery.

“You’re not fucking here.”

As good as. Stop the fucking pity party, get up and walk in there. You owned the hallways of Churchill Bradley. Remind them!

I suck in a shuddering breath and nod. “You’re right.”

Sniffing, I shove to my feet and move back around to the driver’s side of my car. I lean in and grab my jacket from the back seat. Once I’ve locked the car, I walk across the parking lot to the path.

As I walk, I see flashes of memories around me.

Sitting with Kellan on the low crumbling wall while he torments Miles. Standing in the middle of the path, watching as Arabella comes toward me.

My hand rests on the door to the cafeteria, and I stand there for a moment, taking breath after breath until my heartbeat slows down. I slide my palm down to grip the handle and twist it, then push the door open.

Noise inside reaches me—voices talking, laughter, the clink of glasses. I stop in the doorway and sweep my gaze over the room.

All the tables are in the same positions. The bright overhead lights shine off the gleaming surfaces. I step inside, my eyes on the table I used to share with Kellan and, as I walk through, silence falls behind me.

I toss my jacket onto the table and take my seat … the seat I’d taken every year until senior year, with my back to the room.

And then a shadow falls over me. I turn my head slowly, gaze lifting to focus on the man hovering there.

I don’t know why there’s a stab of pain in my chest when I see ginger hair instead of brown.

“Eli.” He smiles at me. “You look well.”

I force myself to return his smile. “Garrett.”

Chapter 59

Arabella

This feels so unreal.

I’m sitting in the cafeteria of Churchill Bradley Academy, surrounded by faces I know, but they all look older. The jocks and cheerleaders have gravitated to their old table. Brad’s blonde hair has thinned, and he’s lost his athletic physique. I’m surprised to see Lacy with him. She looks worn at the edges, no longer as slender as she’d once been.

Miles is talking to Bret, and my gaze settles on the white band around the other man’s neck. A priest. One of my tormentors joined the church. I wonder if his choice came from all the events that happened here.

“Do you want to go and mingle?” Ivan asks.

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